Eminent Imploding Brain

My brain is so very fragile that the last time I wrote anything here was last week and I couldn't even finish it. Even then the post was about days earlier and I was feeling down on myself for being so far behind. Well, look, it's taken a week to get to the point where I feel strong enough to open the laptop again!

Here is that unfinished piece.... 

"I'm getting tardy with my posts, or more like, there is so much going on that I simply can't keep up. I could write everyday but I think that would get a bit boring for you dear reader. Also my brain has slightly imploded over the last few days and I am having a hard time getting my words into coherent sentences; feels like I just need to sleep for a week.

So last Sunday we didn't get that long at the plots but we did try to get stuff done. Both of us were really tired and I was in a perpetual state of anxiety (which makes breathing difficult and this gardening almost impossible), but we wanted to be there. Cue - the planting of some root vegetables direct (two different carrots, turnips, parsnips and something); and me clearing out the long bed in the 14b of all it's left over weeds.

I also took a few excited photos of the potatoes and garlic which look so good thus far.

We are over run by seedlings everywhere here at home...

I made Rhubarb and Ginger Compote....(should give recipe, nicer than first one)
love and hugs "

So now today (or maybe tomorrow) I have a task; to catch up with life. If I don't record it then I have only darkness in my mind and nowhere to look to for encouragement as I sit here each day, alone with my destructive thoughts and the sound of screaming inside my head. Yep, it's not all strawberries and cream in my world and I'm not afraid to say that, I can't lie to you or myself. I am struggling, I have been for weeks.

I'll fight, I'll get my mojo back. 

Love and Hugs
Your Carrie