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Doreen’s Story: Woman Incapacitated by ‘Lazy Cow Syndrome’

By Periscope @periscopepost
Doreen’s Story: Woman incapacitated by ‘Lazy Cow Syndrome’

Job center. Photo credit: Jason Cartwright

A mockumentary which satirises Britain’s benefit system, currently a hotly contested political issue, has proved a hit on YouTube. In the four-minute spoof sketch, a fictional mum-of-two named Doreen, claims she has been diagnosed with ‘Lazy Cow Syndrome’ which means that even “after loads of therapy” she has “trouble shifting me arse.” Doreen says she’s on loads of drugs including heroin, ecstasy and “a bit of crack at the weekends.” In a thick Black Country accent, she says she gets “exhausted” just opening the envelopes to take the (benefits) cheques out and suffers from another life-limiting syndrome – “hamburgers.”

“I’m overwhelmed by how successful the sketch has been,” said unknown actress Gill Jordan, a mother–of–three. “The ultimate goal would be to have my own satirical show on television. That would be wonderful.” The sketch was devised for her by scriptwriter David Tristram. The video has been picked up right-leaning newspapers and websites. The Telegraph reported that the video, which has received almost 240,000 views, “has been widely praised by viewers who hailed the portrayal of benefits claimants ‘hilarious’ … Fans are now calling for her comedy talents to be given a wider airing and are likening her to Miranda Hart, who stars in an eponymous BBC show.” The video was posted on Guido Fawkes’ blog and quickly attracted almost 200 comments, mostly from people who felt Britain is dishing too many benefits to undeserving people. “All that was missing was chainsmoking while supping a can of wifebeater,” said Grommit.

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