(CNN) - "I have a few spots for anyone who wants to lose 20 pounds by the holidays! No diets, exercise or cravings!"
Ads for these types of diet and exercise programs started appearing in my social media feeds in early October 2022, often accompanied by photos of women pushing shopping carts full of Halloween candy, meant to represent the weight they no longer carry.
Whether it's intermittent fasting or "cheat" days, diet culture is spreading wildly and peaking especially among young women and girls, a population at particular risk from social pressure and misinformation.
The fact that diet culture all over social media targets adult women is bad enough, but such messages also trickle down to tweens and teens. (And let's be honest, a lot of it is aimed squarely at young people, too.) It couldn't have happened at a worse time: There's been a noticeable spike in eating disorders since the pandemic began, especially among adolescent girls.
"My mom is obsessed with seeing her Facebook friends lose tons of weight without dieting. Is this even real?" The question came from a teenage girl who later revealed that she considered hiring a health coach to help her eat "healthier" after watching her mother change her diet. Unfortunately, the coaching she fell victim to is part of a multi-level marketing brand that promotes rapid weight loss through calorie restriction and purchasing expensive meal replacements.
Is it real? Yes. Is it healthy? Not likely, especially for a growing teenager.
Later that week, another teen client asked about a clean eating movement she follows on Pinterest. She had read that a strict, clean vegan diet is better for both her and the environment, and assumed this was true because the pinned article took her to a health coaching blog. It seemed legit. However, a deep dive into the blogger's credentials revealed that the clean eating habits they shared weren't actually developed by a nutritionist.
And another teen, who was just a week into the "what I eat in a day" challenge - a video trend on TikTok, Instagram and other social media platforms where users document the foods they consume in a specific time frame - told me that she decided to temporarily mute her social media accounts. Why? Because the time she had spent restricting her eating while pretending to feel full left her exhausted and unhappy. She had found the trend on TikTok and thought it could help her create healthier eating habits, but ultimately became fixated on calorie intake. Still, she didn't want her friends to see that the challenge made her feel terrible, even though she had spent a whole week promoting it.
During any given week, I answer countless questions from tweens and teens about the diet culture they encounter online, in the world, and sometimes even in their own homes. But as we enter the winter holiday season, the pressure of shame-based diet culture, often wrapped in toxic positivity to appear encouraging, is increasing.
"As we approach the holidays, diet culture is as much in the air as lights and music, and that's especially on social media," says Dr. Hina Talib, an adolescent medicine specialist and associate professor of pediatrics at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. in the Bronx, New York. "It's so widespread that even if it's not aimed at teens, they absorb it by scrolling through it or hearing parents talk about it."
Social media isn't the only place young people encounter harmful messages about body image and weight loss. Teenagers are inundated with so-called "healthy eating" content on TV and in popular culture, at school and during extracurricular or social activities, at home and in public spaces such as malls or supermarkets - and even in restaurants.
Instead of learning how to eat to fuel their bodies and brains, today's teens are being fed the message that "clean eating," to name just one example of a potentially problematic diet trend, results in a better body - and, by extension, in greater happiness. Diets that eliminate all carbohydrates, dairy products, gluten and meat-based proteins are popular among teens. Yet this mentality can cause food anxiety, obsessive checking of food labels, and dangerous calorie restriction.
An obsessive focus on weight loss, toning muscles and improving overall appearance is actually contrary to what teens need to grow at a healthy pace.
"Teens and teens are growing into their adult bodies, and that growth requires weight gain," says Oona Hanson, a Los Angeles-based parent coach. "Weight gain is not only normal, but essential for health during adolescence."
The good news in all of this is that parents can play an active role in helping teens create an emotionally healthier narrative around their eating habits. "Parents often feel helpless in the face of TikTokers, peer pressure or the wider diet culture, but it's important to remember this: parents are influencers too," says Hanson. What we say and do matters to our teens.
Model a healthy relationship with food
Take a moment to think about your own diet. Teens tend to imitate what they see, even if they don't talk about it.
Parents and caregivers can create a healthy relationship with food by enjoying a wide variety of foods and trying new recipes for family meals. During the holidays, when many celebrations require gathering around the table, take the opportunity to model shared connections. "Holidays are a good time to remember that food nourishes us in ways that could never be captured on a nutrition label," Hanson said.
Practice confronting unhealthy body talk
The holidays are full of opportunities to gather with friends and loved ones to celebrate and make memories, but these moments can cause anxiety if there is food shame involved.
When extended families gather for holidays, it is common for people to comment on how others look or have changed since the last gathering. While this is usually done with good intentions, it can be awkward or upsetting for tweens and teens.
"For young people going through puberty or body changes, it is normal to be self-conscious or self-critical. "For someone to say, 'You've evolved' is not a welcome part of conversations," Talib warned.
Talib suggests practicing comebacks and topic changes in advance. Role-play responses such as, "We don't talk about bodies" or "We'd rather focus on all the things we've accomplished this year." And be sure to check in at an appropriate time and make space for your tween or teen to share feelings of hurt and resentment about such comments.
Develop digital literacy skills
Open and honest communication is always the gold standard in helping tweens and teens process the messages and behaviors they internalize. When families talk about what they see and hear online, on podcasts, on TV and in print, they normalize the process of critical thinking - and it can really be a great shared connection between parents and teens.
"Teaching media literacy skills is a useful way to frame the conversation," says Talib. "Talk about it openly."
She suggests asking the following questions when discussing people's messages about diet culture:
● Who are they?
● What do you think their angle is?
● What do you think their message is?
● Are they a medical professional or are they trying to sell you something?
● Are they promoting a fitness program or supplement they are marketing?
Talking about this with tweens and teens throughout the season (and at any time) brings a taboo topic to the forefront and makes it easier for your kids to share their inner thoughts with you.
The CNN Wire
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This updated story was originally published in November 2022.
