As a psychotherapist and relationship coach who works with many couples—I often hear men (especially) lamenting that their wives are not interested/have little interest in sex. Their wives often respond with something along the lines of “I’m so exhausted and have not time to myself—and he doesn’t get it.” They go on to talk about all the housework, care giving of children, and for many, their own jobs outside the home—that take all their time and energy and leave them craving quiet and sleep at the end of their long days. They say their spouses don’t get it because they don’t share these responsibilities—and if they do, their share is much smaller.
A study from researchers at Cornell University and Georgia State University may have a solution—share the household chores. According to their findings, younger couples (average age, 36) who split the house/kid chores have the most sex, are happy with how often they have it—and report high satisfaction with the sex itself. The study surveyed 600 couples, almost 90% were married, they averaged a moderate to low income, 55% had at least some college education—and all had at least one child living with them.
Previous studies have showed couples with more traditional roles as having a better sex life—therefore this may reflect changing attitudes, expectations and what people want from their partners. It’s interesting to note that the results were not impacted by the woman working outside the home or full time at home.
One interesting finding was with the couples where he did most of the housework. In these cases they had less sex and reported the least sexual satisfaction regarding quantity and quality. One could draw a number of hypotheses from this—but that is for another article.
So the next time you want more sex, run the vacuum or do a load of laundry—it’s great choreplay.
