I always find myself being moved, emotionally, when I watch documentaries. There is a sort of disconnect that happens when I watch a Hollywood movie, one that absolves itself of a real emotional connection and instead replaces it with a tenuous connection. I know that what happens on the screen is manufactured to elicit a certain emotional response and it sometimes does the job well. When I watch documentaries, the emotional connection is generally stronger, because what I am watching isn’t fake in way, it’s real. This is my 19th documentary post this month and I find that as I progress through the month, I keep digging just a bit deeper into the emotional pit of human interest stories or socially engaging films.
Today’s post is one that covers both a human interest side and a social objective film. My Flesh and Blood tackles the topic of adoption, but dealing with special needs children and one woman’s crusade to provide love and care to those that wouldn’t otherwise receive it from society.
My Flesh and Blood follows Susan Tom, a mother and adopting parent of eleven special needs children. The documentary follows her life and challenges with having to care for all the children in her household, each with a different need. We learn a lot about the woman who has taken it upon herself to care for the children that otherwise wouldn’t be cared for, not because she is atoning for something in her, but because it is the right thing to do. We are given an intimate look at the lives of several of the children, mainly for pacing and length issues, and realize that even with their needs, they are kids at heart. They laugh, play, love, and grow up in a household that allows them to be themselves. It’s an emotionally tasking film that follows this dynamic family over the course of one year and what we witness is something that serves as a reminder that there is some good in this world.
I can’t really dive into a lot of the documentary, mainly because there isn’t a narrative or direction that director Jonathan Karsh pushes the film to. This almost plays out like a home video, watching the children interact and deal with their situation. The children all run the gamut of disabilities from; ADHD, severe burns, missing legs, cystic fibrosis and a myriad of other complications. Each child is unique in their disability but their personalities are also one of a kind.
We are given such an intimate look at their lives that we begin to question how it can all work. We watch the chaos of medical issues, school problems, financing, personal problems and ultimately family dynamics that is almost a constant challenge for confrontation. Susan though, is an angel incarnate. I have never been so moved in a film by watching her selflessly give up everything, even with limited luxuries, shower the kids with an untold amount of affection. These kids are living a better life than some families out there, which affords them the ability to grow and accept their situation.
For me, this documentary does more to bring to light the issue of adoption and giving children like the ones in the film, a chance at having a life outside of the foster home. I have helped dogs and cats get adopted, but often times I see the animals with medical issues or disfigurements get passed over. Now I am not equating kids to animals, but the mentality of adopting someone that is broken and needing additional help is a difficult thing to comprehend and cope with. We have this mentality that children up for adoption are already damaged in a way. They don’t have a connection with their biological parents and feel unwanted. So to adopt a child who also have special needs that make them different from everyone else is a hard thing to cope with. This movie goes to show that yes there are hardships, but through it all, the love and affection that is had between all members of the family is enough to overcome all odds.
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