Disney Marathon: ‘Tarzan’

Disney Marathon: 'Tarzan'

We approached this one with the trepidation of ripping off a band-aid.

For those just joining us, this is a movie marathon with a twist. Myself (cranky 40 year old blogger), my son Josh (10 year old Nintendo obsessive) and my daughter Amelia (drama llama 8 year old princess) are watching Disney movies in a random order and ranking them. We hope to see interesting differences in how we organise our lists.

Released: 1999

Director: Kevin Lima and Chris Buck

Cast: Brian Blessed, Tony Goldwyn, Minnie Driver, Glenn Close, Lance Henriksen, Nigel Hawthorne, Rosie O'Donnell, Wayne Knight

Plot: A young child is raised in the jungle by gorillas. With the appearance of more white people, Tarzan finds himself torn between two worlds.

Review: It's amazing how much the soundtrack derails this movie. Disney leaned very heavily into the Phil Collins as auteur here, giving him free rein to put out an album attached to a Disney movie. Whether you like Phil Collins or not, his power ballads land at the most jarring time. Often the story comes to a grinding halt for these slow pans of scenery set to Phil Collins crooning. It really lowers the experience.

If that makes the movie sound padded out, that's because it is. There are so many montages in place of storytelling. We get a montage of Tarzan's parents learning to live in the jungle, Tarzan growing up among the apes, Tarzan getting to understand the white people's culture...there seems to be an assumption that we're going to lose interest if we're not rushing to the next earnest Phil Collins ballad.

I struggle to find things to say about this movie because I always struggle to recall the details. There's a penny farthing? And he can tie a complex bow? How we get from the first and final act is all a blur. Nothing really happens in this story. There are a couple of Disney movies that stand out for at least being unique, but Tarzan feels like a very safe attempt to replicate the success of the fading Disney renaissance.

Some of it is shockingly mishandled. Most of the casting is fine, but they cool and marketable to children role is given to Rosie O'Donnell. Ms. O'Donnell has many talents, but she's not especially marketable to children. Her routine does not set well alongside the Actor Experience brought to the table by Brian Blessed and Nigel Hawthorne.

Best Song: eh...

Coolest Easter Egg: There's a fine Mrs. Potts cameo, but that's all we remember.

Weirdest Trivia: Brian Blessed provided the voice to the evil Clayton. When Tony Goldwyn couldn't quite muster the signature Tarzan yell, Blessed stepped up to the plate.

Rating: THREE out of TEN

THE RANKING ME

This movie was quite well received on release, but I'm not seeing it. It seems to have slipped out of public consciousness though.

Click those titles if you want to see what we said about the other movies.

AMELIA

This was the second time Amelia has seen Tarzan. It wasn't as good as she remembered.

1. Raya and the Last Dragon
2. Frozen
3. Moana
4. Tangled
5. The Little Mermaid
6. The Rescuers
7. Emperor's New Groove
8. Zootopia
9. Lilo & Stitch
10. Atlantis: The Lost Empire
11. The Great Mouse Detective
12. Home on the Range
13. The Nightmare Before Christmas
14. Mulan
15. Hercules
16. Alice in Wonderland
17. Cinderella
18. Wreck-It Ralph
19. Bolt
20. Pocahontas
21. Enchanted
22. Dinosaur
23. The Aristocats
24. The Princess and the Frog
25. Robin Hood
26. The Jungle Book
27. Fantasia 2000
28. The Lion King
29. Beauty and the Beast
30. The Three Caballeros
31. The Fox and the Hound
32. The Sword in the Stone
33. Saludos Amigos
34. Tarzan
35. Oliver & Company
36. Aladdin
37. Treasure Planet
38. Big Hero 6
39. Fun and Fancy Free
40. Sleeping Beauty
41. A Goofy Movie
42. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
43. Chicken Little
44. Fantasia

JOSHUA

Josh didn't engage with this one at all. He's just discovered Greek mythology though, so he's not interested in anything else right now.

1. Zootopia
2. Big Hero 6
3. Raya and the Last Dragon
4. Aladdin
5. Emperor's New Groove
6. Treasure Planet
7. Moana
8. Ralph Breaks the Internet
9. The Three Caballeros
10. Saludos Amigos
11. Wreck-It Ralph
12. The Rescuers
13. Frozen
14. Mulan
15. The Princess and the Frog
16. The Lion King
17. Lilo & Stitch
18. The Jungle Book
19. Robin Hood
20. Bolt
21. The Sword in the Stone
22. Beauty and the Beast
23. Oliver & Company
24. Sleeping Beauty
25. Tangled
26. The Great Mouse Detective
27. Cinderella
28. The Little Mermaid
29. Enchanted
30. Home on the Range
31. Pocahontas
32. A Goofy Movie
33. The Aristocats
34. Fantasia
35. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
36. Atlantis: The Lost Empire
37. Fun and Fancy Free
38. The Fox and the Hound
39. Fantasia 2000
40. The Nightmare Before Christmas
41. Dinosaur
42. Hercules
43. Tarzan
44. Alice in Wonderland
45. The Wild
46. Chicken Little