Disney Marathon: ‘Bolt’

Disney Marathon: 'Bolt'

I didn't watch this movie until now. I don't regret putting it off.

For those just joining us, this is a movie marathon with a twist. Myself (cranky 30s blogger), my son Josh (stoic 10 year old Nintendo obsessive) and my daughter Amelia (drama llama 7 year old princess wannabe) are watching Disney movies in a random order and ranking them. We hope to see interesting differences in how we organise our lists.

Released: 2008

Director: Chris Williams and Byron Howard

Cast: John Travolta, Susie Essman, Mark Walton, Miley Cyrus, Malcolm McDowell

Plot: Bolt is a dog who believes that he possesses a range of superpowers. The truth is that he's a TV star made to accept the fiction around him for an authentic performance. When Bolt gets lost in middle-America, he experiences a serious wake-up call.

Review: This movie is an oddity. It doesn't quite feel like a Disney movie, but it doesn't quite has the crassness of a Dreamworks movie from the same point in time. It's not a bad movie, there's just something...a little off. Some of this disjointed feeling comes from the casting of John Travolta who sounds like a raspy man in his 50s playing a cute puppy. Aside from Travolta is the only celebrity in the house aside from Miley Cyrus, who plays his owner, Penny.

So John Travolta is owned by Miley Cyrus. Is this a Scientology hierarchy thing or something?

The movie opens with Bolt being bought as a puppy before we jump ahead a few years where our hero has a super sonic bark, super speed, laser eyes...the basic superman package. It's after a long action sequence that we see the world outside of Bolt's perception, where he's a mistreated performing dog kept in a state of paranoia and borderline violence. Through studio and producer nastiness, Bolt winds out out in the world.

He's joined by a mangy cat (Essman) and a hamster who can't distinguish reality from TV (Walton) and travel to LA to be reunited with Penny. His experiences in the 'real world' of Middle America force Bolt to come to terms with his normality and learn his limitations.

This is a wild concept. Weirdly enough it's the one Disney movie that most resembles the modern world. In fact, it's distinctly 2008 with Green Day still informing most of the fashion choices. There are soul patches and black and white stripes everywhere. Aside from A Goofy Movie, I don't think any Disney movie leans this heavily into the current era.

Now, the movie is basically Bolt reacting to people telling him that he's not in a TV show, and Middle America pigeons who don't know who Bolt is. Bolt can't use his super-bark, Bolt can't use super-speed, Bolt can't use laser-eyes...each one of these reveals get their own reveal. In alternating scenes Bolt experiences hunger, or discomfort, or dogcatchers, or whatever thing he'd never encountered before. It's a fairly repetitive story. On the way, Bolt learns the value of friendship or family. One of them.

Mostly I felt sorry for the dog. He's seriously messed up at the beginning of the movie, completely convinced that he has to protect his owner. This is a really depressing situation. It would make Bolt a sympathetic character if he wan't...you know...John Travolta. It's a really bad choice for a cartoon dog.

It's a nice looking movie, but the story simply isn't engaging enough. There's a set-up for a modern media critique but this angle is never explored. It's just the one joke about Bolt not understanding the real world stretched out to a full length movie.

Coolest Easter Egg: In a weirdly sly reference, a bus that zooms under Bolt dangling Mittens off a bridge is bus #2525 - potentially being driven at 50mph or faster by Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

Weirdest Trivia: The younger version of Penny who appears at the beginning of the movie is played by Chloe Grace Moretz.

Rating: THREE out of TEN

ME

The most distinctive quality of this movie is how unremarkable it is.

Click those titles if you want to see what we said about the other movies.

AMELIA

In one part of the movie, Bolt is really cute. Really, REALLY cute.

1. Frozen
2. Emperor's New Groove
3. Zootopia
4. Moana
5. The Nightmare Before Christmas
6. Mulan
7. Hercules
8. Alice in Wonderland
9. Wreck-It Ralph
10. Tangled
11. Bolt
12. Pocahontas
13. Dinosaur
14. The Aristocats
15. The Princess and the Frog
16. Robin Hood
17. Beauty and the Beast
18. The Three Caballeros
19. The Fox and the Hound
20. The Sword in the Stone
21. Saludos Amigos
22. Oliver & Company
23. Aladdin
24. Treasure Planet
25. Big Hero 6
26. A Goofy Movie
27. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
28. Chicken Little
29. Fantasia

JOSHUA

Josh feels that some parts of this movie are good and some parts are bed. So he slated in around the middle.

1. Zootopia
2. Big Hero 6
3. Aladdin
4. Emperor's New Groove
5. Treasure Planet
6. Moana
7. Ralph Breaks the Internet
8. The Three Caballeros
9. Saludos Amigos
10. Wreck-It Ralph
11. Frozen
12. Mulan
13. The Princess and the Frog
14. Robin Hood
15. Bolt
16. The Sword in the Stone
17. Beauty and the Beast
18. Oliver & Company
19. Tangled
20. Pocahontas
21. A Goofy Movie
22. The Aristocats
23. Fantasia
24. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
25. The Fox and the Hound
26. The Nightmare Before Christmas
27. Dinosaur
28. Hercules
29. Alice in Wonderland
30. Chicken Little