Things Are Good
Right now for the most part things seem pretty good between my oldest and I. We had some rough patches there where she was fighting for what she thought was fair and I was fighting for what I thought was right. We still have these arguments from time to time, but somehow we're both better able to express ourselves to each other. My daughter seems to know what I expect of her. Or maybe I have just adjusted my expectations to better meet her. Whatever it is, right now, things are good!
Her Sister Is Hot On Her Heels
With my oldest making her way into the teens my middle daughter is firmly planted the the midst of the preteens. And now that things have settled down with my oldest I'm afraid we're starting the bumpy road with my middle daughter. And of course it's in a completely different way. My oldest was always very in your face I'm telling you exactly what I think. As frustrating as that is and as loud as things got I think I almost prefer that.
My middle daughter has always been sort of a loaner. She doesn't share her thoughts very easily and you really have to draw it out of her. So when she's upset she really gets into this shell and no amount of talking ever really seems to get her out of it. Sometimes you just have to let her be. But the thing is that she'll start explaining to me something that is happening and I have a hard time following her stories and when I question things she just gets so frustrated and goes into her shell. And this is becoming increasingly difficult because I just don't know how to help her.
I really worry about her. I really hope that I can find a way to get through to her.
Parent Each Child Differently
I've always lived my parenting by you have to treat each child differently. Not better than the other, but since each has their own unique personality you just can't parent them the same way. Every stage with each of my children has been a new bout of trial and error to figure out what's best. And you know that's what makes my I'm an expert statement earlier that much more funny. I might have been through the baby stage 4 times, but even that doesn't make me an expert in babies. I'm an expert in my babies, but that's it.
But anyways, I think the key to keeping the line of communication with my middle daughter open is discussing the problems when she's not tired and frustrated. I need to be calm to keep her calm. And while there are some things I have to do differently with her there are others I can do the same. Like my open door policy. I have told my oldest daughter that if you ever have a question for me or just want to talk, write down what you want to discuss if I'm busy at that very moment and we'll make time to sit down and talk. This has worked really well with my oldest and I think it will work well with my middle daughter. A lot of the frustration and misunderstandings with her on my part come from me trying to do a million other things while she's talking to me. There's my oldest trying to tell me her stuff, my son yelling for me to come wipe him, my baby girl needing to be fed or changed, and then all the other work that goes into being a wife and a mother going on.
There's always some new challenge in parenting. The hardest job I'll ever do with the greatest reward! I'm the mother of a teenager, a preteen, a preschooler, and a toddler. Life is never dull!
How do you handle the challenges of parenting preteens/teens?
