Family Magazine

Dealing with Uncertainty

By Shannon2818 @shannon2818

I hate uncertainty as much as anyone, and I like to be in control. This is probably why I lean towards a more rigid parenting style. But, I’ve been trying to achieve more of balance with the Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control method. In her recent newsletter, author Heather Forbes addresses how to handle children who have a hard time switching from one task to another. This definitely applies to my kids, and Heather attributes this to a need for consistency. Here’s an excerpt:

“For children with traumatic histories, they have experienced an over abundance of uncertainty. There has not been a balance between the amount of uncertainty and certainty in their lives. If an imbalance of the two creates a level of fear for the average adult then it is understandable for a child, with limited coping skills, such an imbalance creates an exponential amount of fear.  The result is a child who will constantly seek certainty, at all costs.”

My normal reaction is to take my children’s refusal to comply as a personal insult. But Heather recommends the following approach:

“If the parent can understand that the child is simply working to create certainty in his uncertain world, this negative loop can easily be interrupted. The parent can acknowledge that the compelling behavior (as given in this question) is helping the child feel better and that switching to a new task is incredibly difficult and scary.”

When I can manage to pull off a reaction like this, the end result is usually much smoother. Check out Heather’s complete newsletter on her Web site.



You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Creative Writing Craft Talk & Workshop

    Dear friends, family, and the twelve people that follow this blog:Hark! Mo Duffy Cobb is returning to the classroom this Fall, both at Holland College to teach ... Read more

    The 20 September 2018 by   Moduffycobb
    DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Right-Wing Christian Support for Kavanaugh & Dismissal of Male Violence Towards...

    Right-Wing Christian Support Kavanaugh Dismissal Male Violence Towards Women: Fight Keep Patria Potestas Foundation "Christian" Culture

    Merriam-Webster DictionaryDavid Badash, "'Not Relevant': Franklin Graham Says Alleged Kavanaugh Assault Just Something 'He Did as a Teenager'":In his CBN... Read more

    The 20 September 2018 by   William Lindsey
    LGBTQ, RELIGION, SOCIETY
  • Foundation and Extension in Your Yoga Poses

    Foundation Extension Your Yoga Poses

    by Nina"Watch your base; be attentive to the portion nearest the floor." — BKS IyengarBecause Baxter will be discussing axial extension of the spine (aka... Read more

    The 20 September 2018 by   Ninazolotow
    FITNESS, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING
  • Tyler Rich EP Review

    Tyler Rich has come a long way from Yuba City, CA to Nashville, TN and he's put in a lot of work to get to release his debut EP with Valory Music and Big... Read more

    The 20 September 2018 by   Phjoshua
    LIFESTYLE, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Creationist Textbook is Rubbish, Says Creationist Study

    Creationist Textbook Rubbish, Says Study

    I often complain about creationists, and about as equally often I hear back "why bother with them". Well, I bother because they're incredibly harmful to... Read more

    The 20 September 2018 by   Reprieve
    BIOLOGY, SCIENCE
  • 1930s Fashion – Fall Fashion Trends in 1931

    1930s Fashion Fall Trends 1931

    A Slender Silhouette for 1930s Autumn Fashion Cosy and smart for Fall in 1931. A Black woolen suit, worn over a cream blouse. The typical foundation wear was th... Read more

    The 20 September 2018 by   Glamourdaze
    FASHION, LIFESTYLE
  • Cooking Keto with Dr. Èvelyne Bourdua-Roy

    Cooking Keto with Èvelyne Bourdua-Roy

    The first episode of season 2 with Cooking Keto with Kristie is finally here! In this episode, Kristie invites Dr. Èvelyne Bourdua-Roy to join her in the kitche... Read more

    The 20 September 2018 by   Dietdoctor
    DIET & WEIGHT, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, MEDICINE

Magazines