Entertainment Magazine

Clerihews (poems About Your Favorite Characters)

Posted on the 05 June 2023 by Meek_the_geek

For a brief while I had a Twitter account (before things, er, devolved with Twitter) using the name @Cleracters. There, I posted clerihews (a specific type of light verse poem) about television characters. I wrote a ton of them, so I thought I’d share some here. They’re roughly organized by genre.


Louise Belcher

Bullshit squelcher

Speaks her mind

Even when it’s unkind

Lana Kane

Was the bane

Of Archer’s existence

Despite his persistence

Regular-sized Rudy

Pain in the patootie

But the Belcher kids aren’t jerks

They accept him for his quirks

Diane Nguyen

Needs a win

So she’ll pen the memoir

Of washed up old star

Peggy Hill

Has zero chill

With feet that are mannish

She loves teaching Spanish

Lisa Simpson

Dress of crimson

So precocious that she’s stayed

Thirty years in second grade?

Hilda and Twig

Met someone big

Helped him locate his spouse

Then he stepped on their house

Bender Bending Rodriguez

Frye will do what he says

Cuz that robot knows the way

To live it up in 3K

Little Stan Marsh

Knows life is harsh

But not afraid to say

“I learned something today”

Patrick the Squire

Did fondly aspire

To a job where he toils

For incompetent royals

Ensign Mariner

There’s no scarin’ her

Just makin’ margaritas

For the crew of the Cerritos


Nandor the Relentless

Existence is endless

Never met a village

He didn’t want to pillage

L’il Sebastian

Loved with a passion

Made us all cry

When he learned to fly

Chandler Bing

Did the strangest thing

Spent the day in a crate

Cuz he kissed Joey’s date

Moira Rose

Communed with crows

Revived her career

With a homespun premiere

Eleanor Shellstrop

Cream of Hell’s crop

Draining down a bottle

And quoting Aristotle

Dwight Schrute

Has a favorite root

Will mainsplain the deets

Of growing great beets

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