Chewbacca Arrested While Campaigning for Vader

So apparently, this past Sunday, while we were all watching football and discussing Donald Trump’s hair, Chewbacca was in Odessa, Ukraine getting arrested.

Why, you ask? Let me ‘splain…

Your see, Darth Vader (his real name, FTW) was making his play for mayoral candidacy under the Ukraine Internet Party (UIP). Now you might know Darth Vader from the Star Wars saga but if you don’t, he basically killed a bunch of people in space and fathered twins which should naturally make him a shoe-in for Ukraine’s public office.

Last year the UIP put up 16 Sith Lords for local and national offices but were sadly defeated. This year, Darth Vader was a favorite of the UIP and they had high hopes that at least one Sith Lord would finally succeed in holding public office and help bring them to the dark side.

Unfortunately, Darth was not allowed to run for office (no reason was given) but not before making a scene while being chauffeured to the polls by a Wookie. Together in the “Vadermobile” Darth Vader and Chewbacca were stopped at the polling station and fined because it is against the law to campaign publicly on Election Day. Who knew?

Chewy was also detained for illegal parking while not having a license and fined almost $8. However, Chewbacca has been unable to pay this obscenely exorbitant amount because his funds “are in an intergalactic bank that has no branches on this planet.”

But Darth appears to have gotten the last word. The previous Friday, a statue of Vladimir Lenin, that had been remodeled to look like Darth Vader, was unveiled to honor the Sith Lord. And the best part? The newly renovated statue is now a Wi-Fi hot spot. From what I can see, the alterations are a definite improvement.

May the force be with you.