I tried this winter, but didn't exactly find what I was looking for. But being a perpetual optimist (something Brandon can't quite understand), I decided to try again while my parents were visiting us a few weeks ago.
One of my favorite research tools is Google Maps. I peruse interesting-looking places and promising hiking routes looking for adventures (something else Brandon doesn't get either). During one of my sessions, I stumbled upon Chatkal Mountains Resort and convinced Brandon that we should really try it out.
After two hours of reasonable roads, less reasonable roads, not reasonable roads, and a twenty-minute border guard checkpoint (we were getting pretty close to Kyrgyzstan), I decided that I had finally found my place.
The resort only had six cottages set in beautifully landscaped grounds overlooking the Chatkal river. The cottages themselves had a master bedroom (most places here only have twin-sized beds) and two other bedrooms with a decent-sized kitchen and dining/living room. There was a (very cold) pool for the children to play in and steps down to the river for lots of obligatory rock-throwing.
Even though the cottages had kitchens, we paid for dinner and breakfast at the restaurant because a vacation isn't a vacation if you have to cook and wash dishes by hand. The food was pretty decent and there were lots of options that weren't plov (although each cottage did have its own plov cooker).
All the children found something they liked, so that's a win in my book. As a bonus, our view from the terrace at dinner time was a stunning mountain across the river, with not a single other building in sight.
By the time we were done with our stay, we were already planning for next time. I'm already looking forward to it.
