12/4/15 : Passenger-in-Chief has requested that AF1 be flown to Joint Base Andrews, to take Valerie Jarrett to Hawaii for the purpose of supervising said Passenger-in-Chief who is behaving erratically after smoking a cannabis-derived substance named shatter. It will cost a few thousand bucks to stock the galley with food for Valjar and the crew, not to mention a small fortune in jet fuel supplied gratis by the military.
No sooner was Valjar on board when she promptly stationed herself at the main desk of the aerial Oval Office and began working the phones, starting with a call to Michelle Obama. This is a vast improvement upon our Passenger-in-Chief who immediately invades the cockpit and causes untold confusion by uttering instructions like "rotate" in the middle of take-off. We have even considered having a dummy set of controls installed behind the captain's seat to keep the bird-brain out of mischief.
