There is a silent, fundamental law of the human soul: you cannot heal what you do not allow yourself to feel. We spend our lives building fortresses around our most tender places the childhood rejections, the heartbreaks, the humiliations, the simple, aching need to be truly seen. We believe these walls are protecting us, when in truth, they are only imprisoning the very part of us that knows how to heal. The healer is not a technique you learn; it is the innate, intelligent life force that was born within you. It is your birthright. But to access it, you must first turn toward the storm, not away from it.
The reason this feels so impossible is that most of us were never taught the language of feeling. We were taught to think not feel as an alternative is this not a fact which in turn became the language of performance. As a child, when you fell and scraped your knee, perhaps you were told, “Don’t cry, you’re okay,” when you weren’t. When you felt the sting of a parent’s sharp word, you learned to swallow the tears to keep the peace. You received a blueprint: Your true feelings are a problem. To be loved and safe, you must be quiet, pleasant, and manageable. So, you began a quiet, lifelong divorce from yourself. You learned to disconnect from the ache in your chest, the knot in your stomach, the tremor in your hands. You abandoned the most vulnerable parts of you in a hidden inner room, and you locked the door. The connection to yourself was the first casualty.
So, what is this “self” we are trying to connect to? It is not the story of your past or the list of your accomplishments. It is the quiet, conscious presence that feels. It is the one who notices the anger without becoming it, who witnesses the sadness without drowning in it. It is the silent, loving awareness that was there before the world told you who to be. To know this self is to feel the love that emanates from your very core—a love that does not need to be earned, because it is what you are. This love is not an emotion; it is the ground of your being. And it is accessed through one courageous, counter-cultural act: vulnerability.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it is the master key to your internal healer from mental health & emotional calmness removing any need for addictions to numb yourself from feeling. It is the willingness to go into the dark with that abandoned child inside you and finally feel the need for connection outside you and decide if you are ready to be in feeling intelligence which is your true nature. it’s no about to only truly listen. To truly feel into the hurts and pains is where the child lives it is not? It is placing a hand on your heart when the panic rises and whispering, “I am here. I feel you. We are not to be alone in this.” In that moment, you are not just feeling a feeling; you are re-establishing a connection. You are giving the healer within the one who already knows how to mend, integrate, and transform the one thing it needs: your compassionate, non-judgmental attention. This is how love becomes an action. This is how you activate your own wholeness.
We live in a world that prizes relationships over connection, that values the form of a partnership more than the quality of the presence within it. But what if we could have the option to have both or choose what we feel and it be something this world has? What if you could enter every relationship not from a place of need, but from a foundation of unshakable inner connection? The choice is before you. Will you choose a world where you seek outside yourself for a love that can only be found within? Or will you choose to end the war with your own heart, to feel the depths of your own pain and joy, and in doing so, become a true partner to yourself and others?
The journey back to yourself is the most important one you will ever take. It is not a path of fixing what is broken, but of remembering what has always been whole.
If you are seeking guidance on how to heal the connection within, why not sign up to heal your connection to you with Sherry and Lee, the Connectionists of Relationship Reinvented LLC. Your wholeness is waiting to welcome you home.
With all our love with connection,
The Connectionist
