Family Magazine

Can I Call You Back in 5 Years, Maybe More?

By Rachel Rachelhagg @thehaggerty5

Facebook is such a great place for Moms to connect, isn’t it? It’s hard to talk on the phone, much less get dressed and out the door with young children. This means often playdates are rare, and you hide in closets a lot eating left over Easter candy from last year. It doesn’t matter that the candy has started to turn colors unknown to man, it only matters that it is chocolate, and it tastes good.


School was cancelled today due to cold weather. I say that again. School was canceled today due to cold weather. No rain, no snow , no sleet. No Zombies. Nothing. Just hide under the covers kind of cold. Slap someone for being warm kinda cold. Get out your fur coat kinda cold.

Being alone in a house that is pretty average sized with three small children under the age of six, and a 12 week old puppy that enjoys eating pee diapers ( preferably Target brand ) and running into on coming traffic while he is supposed to be urinating can make a person rather INSANE. I swear that my husband walked into the door and I threw on my chastity belt. He was so attractive to me from the moment his muddy boots hit the threshold of our home, but no. Uterus is closed until eternity and I’m too tired to wash my face, much less get all romantic.

There is something about being human, a tired, adult deprived human that makes you all the sudden sassy. This is a rarity for me, but today I was rather mouthy in a social media way. It’s not something I am proud of, but it did give me a much needed laugh. A knee slap or two, and a couple apologies to Jesus.

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This gorgeous sign of TRUENESS was posted on a friends wall. Can we all get a freaking AMEN that this is so true it hurts to your core? It has nothing to do with your childrens respect for you, or even their maturity level. Surely when you answer that phone call SOMEONE will need to poop. SOMEONE will be deathly ill, or hungry in need of your culinary services. This makes you aggravated, and no matter how many breathing exercises you practice it does not change the fact that you are mothering tiny people, who don’t understand the importance of a phone call. Much less the importance of a moment alone. What is alone? Why would you want to be alone?

Can I stand and watch while you poop Mom? I would hate that you would be alone while you wipe. What about when you are making dinner? Do you know the recipe by heart, or would you want me to read it aloud to you? SO LOUD in fact that you wonder whether or not to put me in a debate class in Elementary school. Do they have those?

This goes without an explanation needed to say that I usually will not answer the phone during the day. Why? Because I have young children who need my attention. At times, and all the time I am their hands and feet. Their chef, their nurse, their life counselor. I simply do not have time to answer a phone call, much less make one.  Being a stay at home mother is a full time job, in which I am constantly trying to keep up with.

This is a good thing. I signed up for this. I prayed for this. I dreamed  about this. I made them willingly. Some. Just kidding. All.

At the end of the day I love that my kids are loud, this means they are comfortable in their own skin. Their own home, to be free to live and laugh. I am their mother first, and if that means postponing phone calls until the end of the day, so be it. They deserve all my attention, after all they are a portion of me. Made in love. Of course when they are loud and obnoxious they are acting like their Father and not myself. No, I am quiet and lady like.

I used to be. Now all the sudden I have a voice that I cannot seem to silence when women , other mothers insult me. For years I was the silent one in the corner, but tonight SUDDENLY I came alive and defended myself. Is this Christlike? I’ll leave it up to the jury, but even still it felt freeing to voice my opinion, or rather defend myself.

While commenting on a friends status, with the picture above I simply stated that I do not answer my cell phone while my children are awake. Hence the word ” awake “. meaning nap time is perfectly acceptable to talk on the phone, as there is no little person demanding me to pour more Goldfish into their bowls. Since I am not a Nazi mother that drives her children to obey with FEAR of man ( rather woman ) I avoid phone calls to pay attention to them, and teach them life skills, and manners as time allows.

A woman I do not know felt the need to tell me how she felt about my not answering the phone during” CHILDREN ” hours.  Mind you , she has not met me , nor will she ever.

So your supposed to ignore ppl BC your kids start screaming Rachel Jobe Haggerty ? That’s ridiculous u don’t put your life on hold BC they start screaming . there’s discipline they need to respect their mother when she’s talking on the phone or go to another room? 


To this woman I have never met , I said:

“hello. I’m not sure we have met. I have three children under the age of six. It’s a shame they don’t come with a volume button. It’s the funny thing about kids. They’re loud. At least mine are. That’s why I save my calls for night time so no one needs me to wipe their butt. Nice to meet you though, get back to me in a few years when your son is screaming for more Goldfish while you’re trying to poop.”

I was nice right?

I proceed to be sarcastic once again, as I stopped myself. Was I being Christ like? Nope. Was I feeding my flesh? Yep.


She was rude, yes. She was judgmental yep. She annoyed me. Absolutely. But there comes a point when we have to decide to turn the other cheek .

Does this mean we as Christians are supposed to be doormats? I disagree.

When all the sudden I have a voice and an opinion that may cause strife I have to question myself. Would Jesus argue with a judgmental woman? No , he wouldn’t. But he would most certainly show her love in any response that comes out of his mouth.

In that case, I will keep my mouth shut. Burn a bridge that goes no where, in hopes of saving my sanity.

There are some people that aren’t worth arguing with. They will take you deeper and deeper into an argument that has lost it’s worth in the name of pride.

Be that bigger person. Hush your mouth if you feel lead to. I know I did.

I discipline my children, but they do not live in an environment where they fear their Mother. They are not to fear me, but to fear their God in heaven. Their savior, whom gave them life. I am just a human.

They are to respect me out of love, and not out of fear, contrary to popular opinion.


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