All relationships ebb and flow, that’s the nature of sharing life with another person. Relationships will change as partners do, and as life experiences affect the union. Practicing flexibility within your relationship is a good way to keep connected.
Flexibility in a relationship means that you are able to adapt and bend to meet the needs of your partner. It means you are not afraid to do things differently and will take risks outside your comfort zone. It means that while you will not always see things as your partner does, you are willing to invite new interpretations and offer a willingness to sample other alternatives.
Suppose your husband comes home from work one night and gives you a warmer-than-usual hello hug. You have dinner in the oven, the kids are doing their homework, and the washing machine is churning away.. You’re dressed in sweats, tennis shoes, and your hair is gathered in a ponytail – your usual appearance as you focus on the evening chores ahead. Your roles of career woman, mother, and wife challenge you every day as you attempt to juggle time management skills.
As your husband whips a bouquet of flowers from behind his back, he playfully announces, “I want to go to the new Italian bistro tonight for dinner, just with you. Go put something sexy on. I’ve already called the babysitter and she can be here in 30 minutes. I’m in the mood for some serious ‘us’ time.”
What do you do?
Do you praise your husband for his fabulous thought, but shrug it off and ask he make it another night? After all, it would take effort to change your plans and you would really rather stay at home. Of course you’ll give a laundry list of excuses why you simply cannot go out for a romantic dinner, all of them valid.
Or, do you give your husband a suggestive squeeze; thank him for the flowers with a passionate kiss, and rush upstairs to get ready for a night with your lover?
If you go for the second option, you’ll never regret it.
If you opt for the first choice, hopefully flexibility will shift and your husband will be the one making the adjustment . . . that is, if you’re lucky.
That second scenario might go something like this,” I understand, honey, so why don’t we spend quiet time together after dinner and the kids are in bed. We can play our song, snuggle on the couch, and talk about us.”
It all sounds good, but being flexible isn’t as easy as it sounds. You may have to practice. Here’s how . . .
- Be open to hearing another viewpoint.
- Be ready to try something different.
- Learn to be spontaneous.
Both partners should expect to be flexible at different times in their relationship, but in this case, why not opt for the choice that will bring more excitement into your relationship?
