Dating Magazine

Brad and Emily- Not So Happily Ever After

By Datecoachtoni @CoachToni

Wow, that was quite a let down. We went from the season finale where Brad chooses Emily and sweeps her up in his arms and carries her off into the….abyss…

Flash forward to the After the Rose Ceremony, which aired right after the finale. Turns out that Brad and Emily have had a very rough time of it and had actually split up- even though both said they are still (kind of?) engaged. Mixed messages were flying around the set throughout the show. Chris Harrison even commented that they had had “knock down, drag out fights,” and they both agreed with this. Emily stated at least twice that Brad has a “bad temper.” So much for the hearts, flowers and happily ever after.

What was most interesting were the non verbal messages being displayed by Brad and Emily. Brad’s body language was more consistent with what he was saying- that he loves Emily and wants their relationship to work. He presented as anxious and seemed to fear that she would tell him good-bye on national TV. Emily on the other hand was touching Brad, holding his hands, leaning into him- but her words were clipped, her voice low and cool- and her general affect was detached and unemotional. She said she loved him and kissed him- so, why didn’t I believe it? Did you?

I would have bet that Brad would have chosen Chantal over Emily because parenthood was an even bigger and scarier commitment than engagement and marriage. I also could sense his strong connection with her- one that was more than just physical or one dimensional. I still believe that Brad’s family had the greatest influence on his decision- and my strong hunch is that Brad is a rescuer, and he believed Emily and her daughter could use one. Given Brad’s family history, it makes sense that he would be drawn to rescue women because no one ever did this for his mom, him, or his siblings.

Isn’t it quite possible that Emily senses all this too. She talked candidly about those awful “Monday Nights,” meaning that watching the show and all the private moments Brad had with the other women and his thoughts about them- has been painful and perhaps has led to her having serious doubts about what they really have together. Makes sense to me. Emily has her head on straight and she is not the kind of woman who wants to be used as a place holder while Brad sorts out all the issues from his past and goes through this rescuing phase on the way to real love.

All of this is speculation on my part as I have no inside track on their relationship. If I’m right, I don’t believe that Brad has intentionally moved towards a wrong relationship for him. It’s not even clear that this is the wrong relationship for him and Emily. Maybe the problem is the show itself- must be hard for all the individuals left standing at the end to watch their significant other professing their feelings to another contestant or closing the door on the fantasy suite in anticipation of an intimate night together. If the show wants a higher success rate- they may want to rewrite the script a bit…

Brad and Emily- if you need to work on this- call me, I can help you sort this out. Ditto for the producers and writers…how about some real life input from a dating and relationship expert?

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