Blonde in a Baptist Church
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.”
No one moved.
The preacher continued, “Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.
Now stand and confess your transgression.”
Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic — stood up from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, “Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.
I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.”
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
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British Tax Return Error joke,tax return,tax return jooke
This example shows the importance of accuracy in your tax return.
The HMRC has returned the Tax Return to a man in Evesham after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.
In response to the question Do you have anyone dependent on you?,
The man wrote:- “2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 90,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 649 self serving lying ponces in our Parliament and the entire European Commission”.
The HMRC stated that the response he gave was unacceptable.
The man’s response back to HMRC was “Who did I miss out?”.