Dating Magazine

Been Dumped? The Feelings Will Set You Free

By Datecoachtoni @CoachToni

The journal Social Psychological and Personality Science conducted a study on how talking about and rehashing the loss of a relationship impacts recovery and moving on. Contrary to popular myth, it helps a person to heal faster if they wallow in the feelings and share them freely with others.

210 young adults who had recently experienced heartbreak were included in the study. For a period of 9 weeks, half were asked to come in and talk about their feelings of loss by answering questions about the break-up. The other half were only required to complete a survey at the beginning and the end of the study. The group who answered the questions were able to process their feelings and feel better about themselves and their newly single status. Research shows that regaining a clear sense of self and purpose is critical to being able to heal and move on. Researchers did note that dwelling too long on negative feelings is not the same as reflection that can lead to new insights. An important difference to be sure.

None of this means that you can make a break-zip easy. It will hurt, and it will take time. Fortunately people usually overestimate how long it takes. So, if you have recently had your heart broken, spend some time reflecting on the relationship and discussing it with a few trusted others. Life will go on and you will most likely be better off without your ex.

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