Philosophy Magazine

Battle Rap: Imaad Majeed VS Larry T Hill

By Stfallen @stfallen

open mic

It all started when Larry T Hill was co-hosting the Yes Home Grown Top 15 with Yazmin Yousuf and I was called up for a phoner. I picked on his fashion sense and revealed to Sri Lanka his aptitude at ballet. He didn’t take kindly to the former, and personally challenged me to a battle rap. When it came my turn to co-host the show, Larry took his cue for a phoner and picked on my effeminate dress sense and long hair. I jumped on the opportunity to hype the battle rap, and the sparks went off on air. Hear it:

There were crackers on Twitter as we took a few warm up stabs at each other:


When it came time to battle, Open Mic Nights at In On The Green was gracious enough to host our little spat. Lasith Fernando judged the whole affair, and the winner was decided based on how well they engaged the crowd. Larry was lucky his supporters were seated right up front and had some hefty lung power. All said and done, his freestyle was fresh and his humor always shining through.

Here’s Larry basking in the glory of his victory:


The stipulations, decidedly afterthought by Lasith, required the loser to post an “essay” on the winner’s Facebook timeline on how much of a great human being they are. So, here is my “essay” in poetic form:

Vino Defeato (Vintage 2014)

He is light in water, feet heavy on land,
toes curling in the roots of his belonging,
finding himself across continents,
climbing sails, wading waves,
a Taprobane tan on the back of his hand,
he knows his color and its ethnic marker
better than an FAQ or a saadhu’s mantra.

Hilarity for namesake, there’s no such thing
with this cat it’s all gags, goofs and laughs,
he gets a crowd going with his zippity-zap.
back and forth, this and that, bmmshk-chika-bmmshk
echoes the duk-duk of a tuk-tuk heart,
sports no tattoos but the decals of wisdom
are penned to paper, reflections, recollections,
he’s not one to be ungrateful, always aware
of what he owes to the world, the universe,
that sacred balance of karma works in his favour,
he’s got an ear for conspiracies but only because
they conspire towards his will.

Humble, gentle, ready to pounce when invoked,
he’s a pretty decent guy, yeah,
I’m leaving all jokes

Footage of the battle rap will be posted, soon. Stay tuned.

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