Dear Diary: I was pouring almond milk on my Froot Loops this morning when my iPresidentophone burst into Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy (Michelle disapproves of this ringtone because it encourages obese children to eat too many calories.) Pootin was calling. "Vlad," I said "Wassup?
"Obamavich," he said firmly, "I want you to rein in that idiot Kerry before he starts a serious conflict. We are engaged in major war games Ukraine. That's what we call намек 'in Russian...what you guys call a 'hint'.
Now I am emboldened by Dr. Rink's hypnotherapy. I felt power surge through my body. "Piss off, Pootin" I said.
"Before you provoke me further, Obamavich, check with the Pentagon on the warship that has just docked at Havana."
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