Dear Diary: I'm on a comedic roll. After my masterful speech at the White House Correspondent's dinner, I decided to add some wisecracks to my speech at the National Academy of Sciences 150th anniversary today. Since I am a better scientist than most scientists, I asked why they had not been more successful at creating renewable energy. "Why no nuclear fusion?" I asked. If the sun can manage it, why can't you? There followed a silence which I was obviously their understandable awe at the depth of my knowledge. Later I had my staff place a call to basketball player Jason Collins who came out of the closet as gay today.
When he was put through to my phone, he said: "Bathhouse Barry? Is that you? Hey man, Long time no see." I couldn't understand what on this earth he was referring to. But enough about me.
