Debate Magazine
Dear Diary: A second diary entry today because I was way too optimistic about Pootin not calling again. After we watched the fireworks on Saturday night my iPresidentophone warbled Keep the Red Flag Flying which is the ring tone I have allocated to Pootin. My Ativan prescription has now expired so I am again vulnerable to anxiety and panic attacks. I answered the phone gingerly. "Obama here..." "Privyet! Obamavitch!" My stomach knotted, as Pootin continued: "While the cat's been away at Martha's Vineyard, Egypt's military mice have been playing. They don't like your smart diplomacy, so don't be surprised if they turn to us for support, just like Syria, Obamavitch." He knows how I hate that vile pseudo-Russian nickname. Bastard. Valerie Jarrett has lined up another appointment for me with Dr S.H. Rink after we get back to D.C. But enough about me.