Dear Diary: This has been an interesting day. Bibi took me to see the Dead Sea Scrolls. As I loooked at the ancient manuscripts, I had a vivid premonition of how one day this very diary, a unique record authored by the most remarkable leader in US history, will one day be as valued as much as those scrolls, by the people of the United Soviet States of America. And my muscled, lean, body will be embalmed and put on display as a permanent record of physical perfection.
After the scrolls I was taken to Ramalla on Palestinian soil with John Kerry for a meeting with Mahmoud Abbas the content of which is for me to know and others to speculate about. As we waited for the press to be rolled in to witness a pre-meeting photo op at the Muqata Presidential Compound there was an awkward silence which I filled by whistling Hava Nagila under my breath. Abbas turned a curious shade of crimson. This part of the world is so confusing that I forgot it was a Jewish celebration song. John Kerry stepped up to the plate. "Nice tie, Mr President," he said to Abbas, who appeared flustered and unsure how to handle a compliment. I am staying at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem tonight, I will sleep the deep sleep of the innocent with a posse of Secret servicemen on guard at various strategic points. But enough about me...