Dear Diary: Seldom have I been so scared. I had a vivid dream last night while sleeping in Saudi Arabia: I had been condemned to death by stoning. Despite bowing in the most obsequious way to King Abdullah, in my dream, he refused to intercede. I had no alternative but to place a call to Dr Rink in Washington and beg for help with my extreme anxiety. He had implanted a key words in my memory the last time he placed me under hypnosis, so that he could reactivate my trance at will. I found Dr. S.H. Rink in my iPresidentophone contact list. The moment I boarded Air Force One for the flight home, my phone automatically connected to the plane's wi-fi and conversations were automatically encrypted. I was quickly put through to the Good Doctor and explained my plight. "Sit down and fasten your seatbelt, he said. "Are you sitting comfortably?"
"Yes, Doctor," I replied.
"OK... Nancy Pelosi! He said in a commanding voice.
" Auggh! I replied. "She's not here, dude." Strange: That is the last moment I recall before arriving at Joint Base Andrews. But enough about me.
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