Dear Diary: Aaaugh! What a day. Vlad Putin is provokin' me from Moscow where he has Edward Snowden in the transit area of Moscow's main airport but will not return him. I tried callin' him. "Vlad?" I said, but all I got was "Barack?" followed by loud peals of laughter."Barack, we've still got your guy at the airport, we 'repaired' his four computers and we were considerate enough to back-up his hard drives. Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha!"
"Vlad," I said, "if you don't send him back I'm going to be really, really cross with you."
"Oh, yeah," he replied, "now I'm really, really scared. Are you flying over here with Lurch to come get him? Bwwaaah-ha-ha!...Sucker!
That man is so mean. But I still had my upcoming capitalism killer to comfort me. After lunch with Biden, I announced an all-out war on coal-fired power plants. So far no-one seems to be taking me seriously. But enough about me.
