Barack Obama's Diary: Going Long

Dear Diary: I delivered a masterstroke today. I was feeling very peeved at all the attention being paid to the Superbowl and called Valerie Jarrett to the Oval Office to strategize what we could do to raise my profile and distract the proletariat from their buffalo wings and pizza. "I know, I said to her. " I have a photograph in my archives of me throwing a football. My dazzling  style and exemplary delivery will be seized upon by all the commentators as a lesson for all who play football. Let's send it out on Instagram."   This was duly done.  A few minutes later my iPresidentophone sprang to life with a chorus from the Moscow Steel Foundry Male Voice Choir. I answered:  "Vlad Putin [for it was he] what can I do you for?" The sound of laughter tumbled out of the phone.  Obamavich! Obamavich! I have just seen the Instagram of you throwing a football."
 "So? I said.
"Obamavich, you throw like a little girl. Bwaaahaha! How can you make such a fool of yourself in the run-up to --what do you call it -- the Superbowlski. Bwaaaha!ha! You are --what you people call --a sissy. "If you want to see a real man in action,  see the pictures of me riding a horse bare-chested."
This was unbearable provocation and in front of Valerie, too.  I disconnected without replying."That'll teach him, I told Valerie."Bastard." But enough about me.