Barack Obama's Diary: Everything up is Down

Dear Diary:  What a strange world I now find myself in. Everything is upside down and back-to-front. A commission of 50 scientists has reported that climate change is a myth. The Australian government has even shut down its climate change bureaucracy. And all this after my brilliant investments in Solyndra, electric cars and energy efficiency. The latest mass shooting was not carried out with an assault weapon but  with a shotgun.  Meantime, Vlad Pootin seems to have a window into my very soul... he knows about my mices who are a secret between  me and my shrink, Dr. Rink. That reminds me, I must feed them. I have a special jar of peanut butter  and some crackers [no, not those crackers who can't dance] with which to feed them.  I have been so disturbed that I may be suffering from PTSD. I see a joint, and some Frisbee throwing for Bo and Sunny in my future. But enough about me.