Barack Obama's Diary: Egypt in De Nile

Dear Diary: These Egyptian dudes are a real pain in the rear. I backed the ouster of Hosni Mubarak and the subsequent election  of the Muslim Brotherhood's Mohammed Morsi. Now the dudes are talking about freeing Mubarak and they have ousted Morsi and  arrested the leader of the Muslim Brotherhood. Meantime they have trousered several billion in U.S. aid and a flight of F16s. I have threatened to withdraw all aid, but their military doesn't  give an Aswan Dam because the Saudis have promised to  replace anything we withdraw and  Vlad Putin won't be far behind. He called today, but merely cackled with laughter and hung up. Later I received a copy of Diplomacy for Dummies, by Russex bicycle courier with a card that read: "To BO, from VP." Bastard. Thursday, I escape DC again for a bus tour of various colleges to whose kids I will  make extravagant  promises about college fees that the suckers will have to pay back  later in life through raised taxes.  Hope and Change is good for one last iteration. But enough about me.