Dear Diary: There is a rumor spreading on the Interwebs that I have been unfriended by Vlad Pootin on Facebook. Nothing could be further from the truth. I decisively unfriended him, after he created a Facebook Page for Barack Obamavitch. The nerve of the man: that's bare-faced identity theft, right there. I decisively asked my military to unleash a couple missiles in the Eastern Mediterranean just to underline my message. There are those that think I am being petulant by decisively excluding top British military brass from the Syria planning process in Tampa. To them I say: the Brits once colonized the land of my
