Debate Magazine
Dear Diary: My stock of Maui Wowie is seriously depleted as a result of using of using it for medicinal purposes. For some months now I have had a new crop of pakalolo growing under lights in my new underground bunker, carefully tended by Marv Nicholson, my Trip Director [it will now be dawning on readers why he has that title] Among the varieties I am trying out is Blueberry Yum Yum, a variety of weed that's reputed to smell like blueberries, has a bright blue color and is said to calm anxiety and enhance one's mood. Sounds ideal, now Dr Rink has refused to prescribe me any more tranquilizers. Marvin reckons it's at the perfect stage for harvesting right now. I called him on my iPresidentophone today: "Harvest that blue pakalolo, Marv. I'm facing a stressful few days." I am indeed, because some in the MSM have connected the dots on ObamaCare and are spilling the beans that I knew that millions would be losing their healthcare plans even as I was reassuring them that they could keep their health plan and their favorite doctor [bwaaah ha! ha!] People simply have to understand and accept that the intellectual elite, that I am part of, knows what's best for them. But enough about me.