Debate Magazine
Dear Diary: Vlad's thumbing his nose at me again, refusing to hand over that treasonous brat, Snowden. I am responding with hints that I may cancel the Moscow visit I had planned in advance of the G20 summit in St Petersburg. That would be regrettable, because I wanted to visit The Kremlin to glean some grand ideas for my Presidential library. Anyhoo, I phoned Vlad and said amicably: "Dos vedanya Tovarisch," but apparently I had again interrupted his amorous activities. The man is tireless. "Is that you again, Barack?" he asked breathlessly. "Freak off!" And then he hung up--just like that.. Of course, he didn't say 'freak', but you get my drift. The nerve of the man! The day of reckoning is nearing for you, Vlad, and I will be first in the long line of people waiting to kick your skinny, arrogant butt. Meantime, that's enough about me and more than enough about you.