Dear Diary: Valerie Jarrett says that Dr. Rink wants to raise his retainer. My medical treatment is paid for by the military, but if the vultures of the media were to discover that the cost of my psychiatric care would buy a new MRAP (Mine Resistantvehicle) every week...well what chance then of me becoming Director General of the UN?I have admit that the Lucky Charms breakfast cereal I have been experimenting with for the past couple weeks have not been a noticeable improvement, so I have reverted to Froot Loops. I had been hoping for some extra gusto to help me against Vladimir Pootin's regular and disparaging calls which are a form of psychological warfare. He loves to patronize my relationships and disparage my abilities. "How do you like my Olympics, Obamavich? he crowed this morning."Pretty impressive, huh? As the British say, Obamavich, you couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery." True, but enough about me.
