Dear Diary: Put my iPresidentophone on the table beside me as I added milk to my Wholewheat Cheerios, The way things have been going the past couple weeks, a phone call from a world leader is inevitable. Almost immediately the Song of the Volga Boatmen burst forth. "Good Morning, Putin," I said, For it was he.
"Putin said: "Good morning, Kenyan, I want to talk about the downed airliner over Ukraine."
"If you are seeking to eat crow, Poopie Head, you've come to the wrong guy. Anything that takes voters' minds off immigrants is fine with us." But enough about me.
