Dear Diary: As you can see, above, this has not been a good day for me. My negativity meter went into the red zone when I read a comment on the interwebs saying "America's bird is a bald eagle, but America's president is a turkey."
All over the country families are gathered at the table saying how grateful they are for my presence in the White House, but there's always some sour grapes in the bunch. Valerie Jarrett says, at such times, I should bask in the light of my own brilliance and give her a raise.
