Culture Magazine

BAPC Camping Trip 4: The Majesty of the Forest Reveals Itself to Us and a Pentagonian Battle Cruiser is Spotted Screaming Across the Lake

By Bbenzon @bbenzon
As we left the story yesterday we were making plans to find The Feather of Destiny. But how can you make plans to find something when you don’t even know what it looks like? It’s a feather, sure, but what kind of feather? How big, what color, and above all else, where?

We got up the next day and decided we’d just have to scour the forest, hoping that we’d know the feather when we saw it.

Some of us headed into the forest and up the hill:


BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake
BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake
BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake

Others walked the tree line along the edge of the lake:


BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake
BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake

Adam put on his climbing gear and went up into the canopy. Look at this photo he flicked:

BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake
But it’s not as though there wasn’t plenty to see close to the ground.


BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake
BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake

Sometimes the brush got a little thick:


BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake

And, of course, there were times when we all sought a little relief, if you get my meaning:


BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake

But, alas, no Feather of Destiny. Nada. Zilch.

And then we heard it. Faintly at first, and then louder.

Cheese, cheese, we want cheese,
Cheese, cheese, we want cheese.
It got louder:
Drill, baby, drill! It gives us a thrill!
Now baby, drill! A green cheese thrill!
It was the Pentagonian Battle Chant:
Cheese, cheese, we want cheese,
Cheese, cheese, we want cheese.
Green cheese the only cheese, a green cheese thrill.
Oh baby pleeez! Green cheese, wanna’ drill cheese thrill.
Oh it was horrible. It chilled us to the marrow of our bones. As the sound got louder the lake turned a cheesy neon green and a Pentagonal Battle Cruiser appeared skimming the waters, armaments bristling from every surface:

BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake

And then it went to black. All color was sucked out of the world by those dastardly Pentagonian cheeseheads:


BAPC camping trip 4: The majesty of the forest reveals itself to us and a Pentagonian battle cruiser is spotted screaming across the lake

Was it all over? Where our geese well and thoroughly cooked? Was the Bergen Arches to become a sea of green cheese commandeered by cheeseheads zipping along on atomic-powered jet skis?

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of our tale.


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