Humor Magazine

Bananas: Yesterday, Today and Forever

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss


Now listen here all you dudes and dudettes and get with the program: the program of how to stay healthy, live well and have your mind opened by the glories upong glories, ya’ll!

Many people, lizards and turtlemen come up to me and ask me the same question of me for which to get the answer, they be saying to me: ‘Oh, mighty Monk Monkey (true dat), how mayest I become as grand as you, as glorious as you, as fit as you, as bodacious as all get up in actual fact, eh?’
And I sayeth unto them, ‘Eat a banana, you scrunch master!’

Wherefore art this advice cometh from? Am I just passing the buck? Getting them to eat a naturally occuring product instead of creating something new and different? NO! And anyway, not all naturally occuring products are good for you. Didst thou not knoweth how much moreth there isth to the mosteth humbleth bananath?! Oh, there is much more to the humble banana than vitamins and minerals! (Those be good too.)


  1. Monkeys do and so should you!
  2. You can make smoothies with them!
  3. They aren’t overly filling and won’t spoil your dinner!
  4. The word banana has “nana” in it. Couldn’t you say that bananas are the Nana of the world? (If you call your grandmother something else, just go with the analogy here, okay?)
  5. They are proof of God’s existence!
  6. Say what?
  7. It’s true! Just watch this highly intelligent video…

So you see?! If you want to get into the good books with God and your own body, then eat a banana today and share in all the heavenly bounty with me, your master, Monk Monkey!


PS: I have attached some banana worksheets for you! Enjoy trying them out, do your best work. Submit your finest entries to me – care of this website – and I will record a video of me singing a banana song to you as a reward if yours is tha best!

banana colour

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