8 am Friday morning. Sky is so bleedin’ heavy, it looks more like 5. Weather forecasts treacherous snow storms, national rail on emergency timetables! So much drama….but alas I won’t let it interfere with my plans for the day.
After 8 1/2 months of self-practice I’m going to make the trip down the hill, across the tracks, and into an Eastbourne yoga studio. I’ve forgotten what its like to have a teacher present, and am a little bit self-conscious of what my form may have degenerated to, but I want to make an appearance for a few reasons.
- Preserve my sense of sanity. When everything you do goes against the grain of what one “should” be doing, you start to lose a grip on what’s real – you begin to question yourself, as so many others question you. It takes great discipline to take that time each day to make that connection with yourself and “feel” your way through everything. Sometimes you just can’t do it. The many voices are back and interfering, its impossible to find the quiet, or an anxiety about something has lodged its grubby little claws into your back, and you just can’t seem to shake it off on your own. Going to a class can give you that extra boost you need to find your confidence again, or reaffirm what you’re doing. Perhaps its the energy of everyone else recharging you.
- A recent personal decision to come out of hiding and re-integrate into society! I like people! I like movement and conversation and laughter. I can’t always handle it – especially when I’m experiencing a bit of a something’s-come-to-the-surface-and-I’ve-gotta-deal-with-it moment. There have been so many of those this year. Like swimming through a storm – spluttering for breath between each tidal beating. I’m sure I’ll look back one day and think – wow – what an incredible experience, but right now, the waves are only just starting to settle, and my heart rate’s still a little frantic, body’s aching. But at least I can lie on my back like a starfish and look up for a moment or two. Listen to the muffled sounds of creatures on the sea-bed and feel peaceful.
- For work. I will always recommend yoga to a client. Back-ache, sciatica, stressed, tired, insomnia, emotionally drained, headaches, congestion, over-training, low self-esteem, hyperactive – whatever – there will always be a class, a teacher, a style of yoga that suits an individual. Now that I’m understanding Ayurveda, and can incorporate my knowledge and experience of the doshas and all their imbalances (perhaps my tri-doshic imbalance when I went to see Dr Deepika was a blessing afterall) into my own yoga practice, I’m feeling increasingly confident and equipped in being able to recommend different styles and classes to different people dependent upon their needs. I LOVE Ashtanga, but it doesn’t mean I’d recommend it to everyone. When my pitta was off the scale – I barely touched the primary series, and it was definitely a smart thing to do. I needed something cooling and calming, something to bring my energy down. Now I’m a bit of a Kapha monster – from all the Christmas over-indulgence – Primary Series is spot on. Get the heat up, and energy flowing. I need to be active to get myself moving and creative again. For the next month or so, I’m going to attend various classes, with different teachers and broaden my horizons for a bit, so that when I do recommend yoga to someone who’s interested I can speak from experience, and suggest places and classes that are local and easily accessible. Not to say that self-practice isn’t advisable. Quite the opposite. Self-practice is incredible, but someone telling me that three years ago when I was working 9-5, not sleeping, couldn’t touch my toes, and didn’t have a yoga mat – would have been pointless.
- To have fun! Practice can be intense sometimes and I’ve been carrying a bit of a cloud with me for a while now, but as things start to clear and my movements are lightening up – so is my mood and relationship to life and the world. Trying to get into a headstand and accidentally kicking your teacher in a sensitive place IS funny; leaping into Bhujapadasana and falling headfirst into the floor is hilarious; and catching and sharing that familiar “WTF” gaze from someone across the room always makes you laugh. Making friends with like-minded people; dancing hip-hop outside the loos; asking embarrassing questions; farting accidentally in shoulder-stand (high VATA!); needing help to get out of a bind; clasping your fingers about that frustratingly elusive wrist; being inspired by wonderful people; falling in love with that lovely Spaniard who sings loudly and out of tune; all of those things that you are exposed to by venturing out and immersing yourself into the yoga community.
Happy Friday everyone! Namaste x
