When you tell your kids what to do you set yourself up for a power struggle. Most people, including kids, do not like being told what to do. An approach that is likely to get a better response is to ask your kids a question.
A dad reported he’s avoiding power struggles with his 13-year-old son by asking him “What’s your plan for …?” instead of telling him what to do. For example he saw that his son had once again left wet towels and other things in the bathroom. Instead of nagging his son, he asked him “What’s your plan for cleaning up the bathroom?”
Asking questions makes your children do some thinking. This wires their brains for thinking through decisions - a wonderful skill to have!