I confess- I was routing for Ben. They shared physical attraction, friendship, intellectual stimulation, humor and comfort with one another. These are the elements of chemistry, and they had them- however, Ashley felt these elements (or one or two of them) were stronger with JP. She went with her heart. I hope in the long run that ends up being enough as I know that the best choices are made with both the head and heart.
Ben, you had me with the “dog” voice. You are an all around great catch- and someday soon… Don’t let this experience shut you down or push your defenses up. Ashley really had genuine feelings for you and in the real world…it could have turned out very different. But, JP had something more of what Ashley believes she needs, or what she wants.
What are the differences between these two guys? JP presents as more intense, less sensitive- has more of that edge to him. Ben is sensitive- not overly, just the right mix of all-boy and sensitivity. Ben also appears more refined, worldly and cultured- but with all the editing, who knows? (By the way, Ames had many of these qualities as well, which attracted Ashley to him). Interestingly, I believe both bachelors are Jewish, which Ashley is not. Ashley is very goal oriented and driven to achieve in school. She obviously loves travel, learning and constantly growing. I believed she and Ben would have been a better match in these areas. JP strikes me as a home town kind of guy who hasn’t had much interest in striking out on new adventures or stretching past his comfort zone. I like JP- but I still believe Ben would have been a better fit.
I certainly hope that JP and Ashley have found lasting friendship and love- that she has found her “prince charming.” Relationships need to travel a long distance if two people are to stay together and committed. Along the way, there are many challenges and surprises that no one can anticipate or be ready for until they happen. The, the right partner makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE. Just ask anyone you know who has been married for many years- it’s definitely a sport for grown-ups. Let’s hope Ashley was mature enough to choose well.
