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THE ROUND OF... AH
Football is the most beautiful thing in the world. Regular readers will be surprised to hear that the Daily thinks so, but they have a confession to make: her name-calling and misery are nothing more than an attention-seeking scheme, with a teenager being mean to a girl he likes, with predictable consequences.
There are those who are captivated for the first time by the game itself, its balletic rhythms, erotic physicality and affirmative chaos that provide artistic inspiration, sensory reverie and intellectual chewing. Others were drawn primarily to the anarcho-communist creed, with families, friends and comrades coming together to celebrate the simple fact of their existence; the unknowable complexity of their and all existence. And still others were enraptured by the thrill of possibility; the distant but galvanic feeling that the draw for the premier club competition could one day be too complicated to be conducted by mere humans to suit the geopolitical game rules of feudal idiots and billionaire financial fantasies.
Amazingly, we're almost there, next season's 36-team Big Cup will be the best in the disadvantageous competition with an all-ages blackout system, resulting in a reaffirming amalgamation of resounding integrity. However, being too complex to understand, the Daily has no choice but to stop there and dwell on the more easily understood horror of this season - specifically the romantic story of Arsenal finally getting past the Tour of Arsenal by eclipsing the third best. team in Portugal thanks to the heroics of the Brentford goalkeeper.
The highlight was of course the constructive dispute between Mikel Arteta and Sérgio Conceição. The former is known for his time as captain of Arsenal, where he reportedly used players' fines to buy a watch for millionaire chief Ivan Gazidis. But he is also known as Arsenal's manager, patrolling the touchline in intimidating trousers like the toughest of teenagers, free to stir up conflicts he may not be able to properly resolve. As such, Arteta has been accused of berating Conceição and his family. What exactly was said remains unknown. But Conceição was moved enough to take an initiative lio of the proportions of grown men, with the two exchanging empty threats and naughty words, to the amusement of all and the shame of none. Football is actually the most beautiful thing in the world.
The story continues
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Simon Burnton from 8pm GMT for the exciting minute-by-minute Big Cup coverage of Borussia Dortmund 2-1 PSV (ag: 3-2), while Daniel Harris will be on deck for Atlético Madrid 1-1 Inter (ag: 1- 2).
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"In the second half we simply did not want to give in. We succeeded and then we got a lucky shot, via a throw-in, a free kick or from the halfway line. The fact that we managed it is just crazy" - yes, Saarbrücken is at it again, Rüdiger Ziehl's third-string team dumps Gladbach out of the German Cup with an extra-time winner from Kai Brünker reaching the semi-finals for the second time in four years. "I'm super happy," Brünker added, and he could be too.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
So a computer will be used for the Grand Cup draws, after UEFA discovered that 'it would take up to four hours [to do] without digital assistance'. Isn't that faster than the whole thing can handle at the moment?' -Dr. Peter Storch.
I'm not sure I've witnessed a more pointless argument than the media tidbit that ensued after Trent Alexander-Arnold claimed the trophies Liverpool won meant more 'to us and our fanbase due to the financial situation at both clubs'. To put it in terms relevant to the Football Daily readership, we all know that someone with their last can will enjoy it a lot more than someone with a fridge full of cans" - Colin Reed.
Send letters to [email protected]. Today's winner of our Prizeless Letter of the Day is... Colin Reed.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
The latest Football Weekly podcast is here, now, covering all things Big Cup, Belgrade derby and fridge audit.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
The England Women club versus country row has reignited with several WSL outfits believed to be in the funk over FA plans to call up players three weeks before the controversial international window in July.
Austrian coach Ralf Rangnick has dropped Rapid trio Marco Grüll, Guido Burgstaller and Niklas Hedl from his squad for upcoming friendlies after they took part in homophobic chants after the Vienna derby last month. "This is something that I will not tolerate on any team I coach, whether it is at a club or here with the national team," Rangnick said. "Everything we stand for with the national team is at the other end of the scale, and I told the boys that too."
Any future European Union will not be able to register "Super League" as a trademark in the EU following a ruling in favor of the Danish Superligaen. "We are very pleased that the Trademark Authority has agreed that the trademark 'THE SUPER LEAGUE' in the EU will infringe the value that Danish clubs have invested in the 3F Superliga," said Chief Prosecutor Claus Thomsen.
Four years later, Barcelona are again in the quarter-finals of the Big Cup, passing Napoli with a 3-1 victory in their second leg. "We were the buffoons [Big Cup]', everyone said,' said Xavi. "And now?"
Jurgen Klopp insists Michael Edwards has made no attempt to convince him to stay at Anfield. "He's not stupid," Klopp cooed. "That wasn't a topic to talk about."
Portsmouth and Derby remain leaders in League One after 2-1 wins over Burton and Reading respectively.
Ryan Giggs is back in the game as Salford's director of football - a position he appears to have held for most of the season.
Lazio's Maurizio Sarri is back from the game after his dismissal and assistant Giovanni Martusciello takes over. "The club would like to thank the coach for his achievements and for the work he has done and wishes him every success in his professional and personal life," they cheered.
And the Cowley brothers are back living with their parents after taking over at Colchester United. "We've always been Essex boys and we kind of grew up in this county. Nicky and I live with mom and dad," Danny honked. "A few weeks ago we joked on the radio that we were in bunk beds - I think they took us seriously. It's not entirely true, but we are back in the bedrooms we had as young children.
THE BARD OF PRENTON PARK?
"Well, you have to be in the present moment, you can't turn back time. The past is history, the future is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present" - Tranmere boss Nigel Adkins radiates wisdom after Rovers' 2-1 League Two win over Mansfield. Well, paraphrasing Grandmaster Oogway of Kung Fu Panda (and others, admittedly), whichever way.
DO YOU WANT MORE?
Ian Maatsen is enjoying a new life in Germany after being loaned by Chelsea from Borussia Dortmund, as Jacob Steinberg discovers.
With Jurgen Klopp leaving this summer, Andy Hunter looks at how re-signing Michael Edwards can provide Liverpool with off-the-pitch stability.
Have there ever been players who refused to come out for the second half? And what is the highest score that can be repeated in two legs of one draw? The Knowledge knows.
And Barney Ronay was in north London to watch Arsenal undergo a 'brutal rite of passage' against Porto.
MEMORY LONG
January 1997 and Alan Shearer collects a gong from Jimmy Nail at the catchily titled Panasonic Sky Sports Soccer Awards '96.
