Apart from the fact that I think it's incredibly rude for perfect strangers to ask me this (but other mummies will well know that when you are pregnant or have a baby, people think it's perfectly OK to say absolutely anything to you!), I also don't think there is any easy answer to the question. Am I thinking of number 2? Well...yes. I am. Because hopefully Simon and I will be lucky enough to be blessed with more children one day. But that's it. One day, not today, tomorrow or in 9 months time.
There are so many variables for any family to consider when deciding to have another baby. Can you afford it? Are you ready? Have you got enough space? These are just a few questions any family will need to ask themselves before they decide to add another person to the household. Luckily, we are fortunate enough to be in the position where we can afford another tiny, and we have plenty of space. But...we aren't quite ready. In fact, some days I think 'maybe one would be OK'. Me! Me who always wanted 4 babies!
And, despite the impression I may give to people who ask if I'm ready for number 2 ('This one is enough of a handful for now!') the reason we don't feel ready is not because Isabelle is a handful, or demanding, or we don't think we could handle two babies.
But Isabelle IS the reason that we have decided we will wait for a while until we think about giving her a sibling. Quite simply, she is ENOUGH. This one chubby, crazy haired little lady is ENOUGH for us right now. Isabelle has come along and - without wanting to sound ridiculously cheesy - she has completed Simon and I, and our family, in a way we never thought was possible. We simply do not feel the need to add anyone else to our numbers yet, because we cherish every second with this beautiful baby, who we so desperately longed for. We are so grateful to have her, and we want to enjoy every second we can with her without interruption.
Every second of my day is devoted to making sure the little monster has everything she needs, and helping her to develop and grow, to explore her world and learn all she can from it. I can't imagine having to devote half my time to another little person, and not being able to give Isabelle my undivided attention. I think I would feel bad if I had to take my attention away from Isabelle to give it to another little. She is still so young, and she needs me to do almost everything for her, and she depends on me so heavily, that I just cannot fathom not being able to tend to her as and when she needs me. Isabelle is a mummy's girl through and through, and I would just feel awful if I had to give attention to another baby, and had to 'put her on hold' until I had the time to deal with her. Never again in my life will I only have one child, and so I want to cherish every single moment I can, while I can devote myself entirely to just one baby, without having to split my time and attention at all.
And, as silly as this might sound, at the minute I just don't feel I have enough room to love another person. When my second nephew came along, I asked my sister-in-law how it felt to love two boys, and she said that when you have two, you "just find the room" in your heart to love them, and I know that that is true. I know when another baby does come along, that same love will be there....but right now, I just don't feel I do have room.
So, I know from all of that that now is not the right time for us to expand our little family. One day, I think I will wake up and feel differently - feel like another baby will make our family even more wonderful - but for now, Isabelle is everything we could possibly need and want.
That's the right decision for our family, but I know for lots of families it is the opposite. I have two friends - one with a baby a week older than Isabelle, one with a baby 2 months older - who are both pregnant again and I am thrilled for them and their families, because that is absolutely the right decision for them. I have another friend who has a fantastic 16 month old and a 1 month old, and again that is the right decision for her family. Ultimately, whatever feels right for you is the right decision for your family.
But for now, the right decision for our family is to make Isabelle our one and only priority, and give everything that we can to her. Maybe later this year or sometime next year we will feel differently, but for now, we are a threesome and more than happy to stay that way.
