So a two year old article we wrote just surfaced on Reddit and everyone seems to dig it. And because we love our readers and want to make them happy here’s another round of horrible stories to ruin movies you hold close to your heart. Enjoy!
6. James Cameron Attempts Murder and Drug Shenanigans
The Abyss and Titanic
James Cameron is kind of a dick. This is not an industry secret. His harsh working conditions and tendacy to leave his wives for much younger women don’t paint a picture of a top bloke. But those tough working conditions and blind devotion to his work do produce good films…it’s not like he tried to kill his actors for the sake of a shot, right?
Right? Guys?
“Fuck yoooooooooou.”
Turns out Cameron got a bit drown happy with The Abyss. During one enclosed water tank sequence the actors where shown the specific location of the exit ladder. Go in the water, pretend to be scared, climb the ladder. Simple. Then Cameron went and moved the ladder and trapped the actors under water. When their only way of escape proved to be missing some of the cast went into a panic and nearly drowned right there on set. Sadly we didn’t get footage of Ed Harris laying into Cameron following this nasty trick.
“For this shot I’m going to hold you under water until you stop struggling.”
Cameron must’ve learned his lesson because Titanic was less a murder tank in spite of injuries suffered by Leonardo DiCaprio, Jason Barry and Kate Winslet. His tendency to run a tough ship remained and one crew member decided to strike back by dumping PCP in the catered lunch. Everyone having the lobster chowder experience hallucinations and 80 people were hospitalised. Perhaps Titanic really was the ultimate trip (I’m so sorry, please keep reading).
5. Anime Fans Get Trauma in their Entertainment
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Evangelion does a lot of silly things, but it carries with some heartfelt emotion and blistering action. For this reason it became a cross over hit and stands as one of the most popular and best known anime series. The movies used to cap off the series were not especially well received though – perhaps it was all that child abuse up on the screen. During the more surreal moments in Shinji’s subconscious we get flashes of children’s drawings and letters depicting some…unsettling…imagery. Where did these brief glimpses into a traumatised mind come from. ACTUAL TRAUMATISED ABUSE VICTIMS. All of the images were drawn by real children who suffered real abuse.
Still doesn’t make any sense.
There’s also that last scene where Asuka tries to speak while Shinji is choking her – a sound achieved by the voice actors actually choking each other.
4. I Don’t Want A Hoverboard Any More
Back to the Future Part II
It’s 2015 people – we want our damn Mattel Hoverboards. There’s been more demand for these things than an actual time machine. Although after this story you may change your mind on them. You’ll remember the hoverboard chase as culminating with Griff’s gang being propelled through a large window on the clock tower and getting arrested seemingly free of harm. The stunt was achieved by the actors being propelled through the air on harnesses which would release at the crucial moment, sending them through the safety glass and onto airbags.
Stand in stunt performer Cheryl Wheeler stepped up to the plate when the usual performer Lisa McCullough felt the stunt wasn’t safe. Turns out she was right on the money as some changes to the set up lead to disaster. When the director yelled ‘Action’ the rig holding Wheeler send her reeling to the left and straight into a pillar rather than the window. The harnesses released on cue and Wheeler went into the concrete 30 feet below. Face first. She thought she was dead. She wasn’t, but her face, jaw and arm were in pieces and she needed multiple surgeries to recover. And yes, it is in the film.
Clonk.
The saddest part of the story is that Wheeler questioned the stunt and the changes and by all accounts was put in a position she didn’t feel she could back out. Crazy ending – she still performs stunts.
3. Suprise! Blood and Guts!
Alien
Cameron may be out to murder his cast…at least Ridley Scott settles for horrific trauma. That iconic scene where the alien first bursts out of Mr. Ollivander’s chest is one of the best scares in cinematic history. A large part of that is the response of the actors…that moment of stunned horror is an amazing group performance.
Performance? Sorry, they weren’t acting. When they were ushered on to set they saw John Hurt lying on the table ready for the scene, when in reality only his head was visible and his torso was a prosthetic ready for the alien to pop out. All they’d been told was that the alien was going to ’emerge’. The unsuspecting actors stood in their spots, the cameras rolled, Hurt started convulsing and then…
Kablammo. The prosthetic torso explodes with fresh blood and entrails from the local butcher shop, very literally splashing the horrified cast with gore. That look on Veronica Cartwright’s face, where she looks like a friend suddenly exploded blood all over her? Yeah.
2. Harry Potter and the Lifelong Disability
Harry Potter Franchise
There’s a reason why stunt people get little public attention and their names get shoved so far down the credits. It’s because producers don’t want to break the illusion that their leading actors are the real stars of the show and that the characters are believable. This is why Vic Armstrong isn’t a household name in spite of playing Indiana Jones, James Bond and Superman. It’s also why you haven’t heard of David Holmes even though he has been playing boy wizard Harry Potter just as long as Daniel Radcliffe.
This is fulfilling some weird fanfiction writers fantasy.
After doubling for Radcliffe in the first six movies, Holmes was getting ready for his seventh outing in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Rehearsals for the key flying scene were running smoothly until a ‘snap-back’ stunt – a stunt where the actor is yanked back on a rope to simulate being hit by an explosion – threw Holmes to far and into a wall. Lying on the crash mat afterwards Holmes was conscious and speaking but couldn’t feel his legs. He had suffered a permanent paralysis and will spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
These days he passes the time racing cars at 150km/hr. That pretty awesome.
1. The Greatest Crime Against the Internet
The Adventures of Milo and Otis
If you grew up in the late 80s and early 90s you saw this fun little romp about a kitten and puppy pug. With voice overs giving them goofy voices we follow them on an adventure through the wild as they try to return to their farm. It’s cute as anything. And if you ever want to watch it again, stop reading right now.
The horror…the horror…
Milo and Otis as western viewers saw it was a radical re-edit of a Japanese film and is dramatically different in tone. The original film is a slow, peaceful and dreamlike in tone. It’s poetic, even, following the animals journey through nature with a wistful, reflective soundtrack. American studios recut it and added voices to draw in the children’s audience.
The original film-makers also had very few scruples when it came to murdering kittens. With no regulatory body on hand control this kind of behavior the crew achieved dramatic moments like Milo leaping off a cliff by throwing a kitten off a cliff. Bloody hell, Raiders of the Lost Ark almost got shut down because a few of the snakes accidentally fell between slates on the stage and died – these guys continuously murdered kittens by throwing them off cliffs, setting vicious predatory birds on them, washing them down rapids and more inhumane behavior. How many felines met their end at their hands? They didn’t even bother keeping count, but word is we’re looking at a graveyard filled with at least 20 kitties.
This scene didn’t require and stunts, so they shot the animals just for fun.
