Let the gnawing ache ring and discover that we are scanning the horizon for the Messiah
Laura Merzig Fabrycky
I heard the rain falling during the night and woke to it in the early morning. Unbeknownst to us, a nor'easter had been heading our way and landed Saturday morning bringing buckets of rain to our area and feet of snow to other parts of the state.
We suspended our prior plans to go get a Christmas tree today, opting instead for the comfort of a dry, warm home. I sit in the living room, looking out to the rain drenched earth. Like an artist's paint palette, all the windows are splattered with drops of rain, creating patterns that change with every drop. My Advent candle is lit and I have just begun the process of bread making.
Process is a good word to describe bread making. It takes steps of proofing, measuring, mixing, and kneading. And then you wait. After the dough rises in a warm room, I punch it down and wait again. It's not time. It still needs another rise. Still later, I punch it down again, form it into loaves and wait while it rises again. Finally, it's time to put it into the oven.
Breadmaking is a perfect Advent activity. It reminds me of the importance of waiting, not rushing. It reminds me that the process is sometimes as important as the content, that it will be worth the wait when I take out the beautiful loaves of bread.
As I wait for the bread to rise, I'm reminded of the waiting in my childhood for growing up, I knew what it was to wait. We would wait for hours in trains, when cars broke down, for monotonous sermons to end. We would wait with tears for the end of the boarding term, we couldn't wait to fall into the arms of our parents and their undconditional love for us. Living in a country where people were valued over time and efficiency, where it took a long time for anything to happen, I learned how to wait.
In more recent years I have lost the art of waiting and in this space, I can confess that I find waiting incredibly hard. I realize when I am asked to wait how much I am a product of the culture where I am now living. And if it is indeed an art, it is an art I want to relearn.
Waiting for bread to rise. Waiting for Advent. Waiting for God to show up. Waiting. It's not time. God's waiting room is a sacred space. A sacred space where time is not allowed to predict or dictate outcomes. A space to not hurry, to be okay with process, to learn to live faithfully in the in between.A sacred space where time is not allowed to predict or dictate outcomes.
The sacred space of God's waiting room was where Simeon, that old prophet in a temple long ago waited. Every day he waited until he could speak words of promise and release. "Now that I have held you in my arms, my life can come to an end. Let your servant now depart in peace, for I've seen your salvation, He's the light of the Gentiles, and the glory of your people, Israel."*
Along with Simeon was the prophetess Anna, who prayed and fasted, who never left the temple. She too was in the sacred space of God's waiting room. We don't know how many years they waited, but we know it was a long, long time. They faithfully continued living in God's waiting room until their hopes were fulfilled and they met the Christ Child.
Waiting. Scanning the horizon for the Messiah. Waiting in the sacred spaces. This is the journey of Advent and waiting is what we do.
*Luke 2:22-38
Listen to "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" here.
