Fashion Magazine

An Alternative Take on Great Wakering Rovers’ Wembley Heroes

By Elliefrost @adikt_blog

Exciting times - Great Wakering Rovers are at Wembley this weekend (Image: NICKY HAYES)

GREAT Wakering Rovers star Harry Talbot wipes the dirt from his teammates lining up at Wembley this weekend. GOALKEEPERS

Luis: "Great between the sticks and even better in the crossbar. Luis is a great shot-stopper who has been crucial to our historic cup tie, winning two penalties and making some huge saves. One guarantee is that he will be out all night after the final."

DEFENDERS

Danny Cossington: "Cosso is our club captain. He's a real leader both on and off the pitch. When he's not moaning at us (which is rare), he's pushing us for the challenge and organizing us on the pitch. He's playing with his heart and will die for the badge! I've been compared to Lee Catermole, not as a player, but he looks like him."

Kingdom Dawson: "A fast full-back who likes to get up and down. He can defend very well one on one and has good football ability. We still haven't forgiven him for missing the semi-finals (both legs) but he will he will." I will probably travel with the team this weekend."

Caiden Imbert-Thomas: "Versatile player who can play as a full-back or winger. Caiden brings strength and energy to the game and likes to bomb to help in attacks when he can. While we were actually trying to sign his brother Caiden it turned out a good alternative."

Harrison Topliss: "Harrison 'Harribo' Topliss is an excellent CB. Although he hates football, he has an abundance of talent and has played a crucial role for us this season. However, he does enjoy some parts of football , like spending money and more quality time with his soulmate Ben Search, Harrison will be looking for a proper send-off as he embarks on a journey to find himself at the end of this season.

Oliver Jenkins: "Jenko is a big, strong and powerful CB. He also has good speed and football skills. He has played a big role in our success this season, as if perhaps his song selections before the match weren't so pumped up. "

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Perry Dunn: "An experienced CB who leads with action. Perry scored the now famous winner at Highworth in the 96th minute. Already a Wakering legend, he has gone from strength to strength. His heroes include: Sean Dyche, Nigel Farage, Sam Allardyce to name a few."

Jack Nolde: "Noldey is a talented LB with a left foot stick (a pity he doesn't use it much). He can defend and go forward with great ability and has collected quite a few assists this season. Perhaps his best performance was also in the dressing room prior to the match."

Joe Burgess: "A great defender who can play LB or CB if required. He brings great experience (not just because he is old) having been in the non-league scene for a long time. Burgess has a "He is the coach's best friend, but would probably still end up in the selection."

MIDFIELDERS

Tom Barton: "Barts is a no-nonsense, defensive midfielder who dominates in the middle of the park. He brings experience, tenacity and quality to the team. His claim to fame is a short-lived snooker career. He can usually be found at the Qball in Basildon , reminiscing about the good old days."

James White: "Whitey has seen it, done it and worn the t-shirt. A leader on and off the pitch and a brilliant player. Unfortunately, injuries have plagued the latter stages of his season and his presence in midfield has been missed, but his no rushing habits in the back of the coach!"

Callum Bloss: "Bloomy is a decent footballer with a lot of abilities. He can cut open a midfield with ease and has an eye for goal, which means he has a total of one to his name this season. The chairman was not that enthusiastic about Bloomy, but I think he won him over with his smile."

Ben Search: "Searchy is the only member of the squad who has already been to Wembley as a player. He traveled with Concord Rangers for the FA Trophy final in 2021 (key word is travelled). The statistics speak for themselves. He is an excellent footballer with great leadership qualities for someone his age. We miss him when he is not in the team! He is the only player I know who was given the captain's armband because of his habit of committing sins."

Hafeez Elegushi: "Demi is a box-to-box midfielder who covers every blade of grass and brings speed and power to the midfield. His bundles of energy on the pitch come from his ability to sleep anywhere, anytime. He has delivered great performances There are some big games for us this season."

Jake Gordon: "Gordo is a versatile midfielder. He can play centrally or wide. He brings creativity and quality on the ball. Perhaps one of his best moments was the volley from outside the penalty area in the semi-final against Worcester. I don't believe that he is 27 not only because of his hair (or lack thereof), but also because of his vast experience."

Ryan Scougall: "Cup draw, but a huge part of this team. Plagued by injuries this year but has shown amazing quality when called upon. Brings out his inner Scot when it matters most."

Craig Ferguson: "A ball-playing midfielder with great quality, but someone who can also convey that. He joined late in the season, but has added quality and a different dynamic to our midfield. Legs may be poppadoms given the injuries, but he is an important part of the team when he is fit!"

Bill Johnson: "The longest serving current player for Wakering. He will no doubt get his statue after Wembley. BJ has a magic wand of a left foot and a lack of experience in the game. He is pushing 40 so this could be his farewell but I hope that's not the case because he's a great player and a great person."

Max Gnandi: "Max is a fast and powerful winger with plenty of ability. His thunderous thighs give him a uniquely low center of gravity that causes problems for defenders in all areas and he has scored some big goals for us this season. Namely: our winner in the semi-finals of this competition."

Dom Locke: "Lockey has recently joined Wakering and brings with him an abundance of quality and experience at a high level. He is a powerful and tricky winger, but by far his best quality is his teeth. I can't wait to see them rays of sunshine at Wembley."

Shemarie Perkins-Palmer: "Sem is a fast winger. He is even electric. Causes huge problems for defenders when he runs at them. Unfortunately his season has been delayed by a major injury, but we look forward to having him back on Monday see you on Sunday!"

STREAKERS

Tony Martin: "You could say TM is the last of a dying breed... He's a true number nine with an eye for goal and a brilliant attack, although you wouldn't have thought so looking at his penalty in the semi-final watches TMs have scored some important goals for us since they started this season, so all is forgiven!"

Callum Boylan: "Boylan, aka star boy, is a fast, powerful and clever striker. His stats speak for themselves and he has been at the forefront of much of our success this season. It's a shame we can't replace his father have, but Cal is not far away!"

Jack Stone: "Stoney is a talented striker with a lot of talent. He has a great goal-scoring ability, which he has proven in the Southend youth academy. He has performed at a very high level when called upon and has a great had an impact on this team."

Harry Talbot (by Ben Search): "Mr big-time himself. A great player with great skill and huge character in the dressing room. Always committed to getting the first drink/beer after the match. Shame he didn't same dedication to find his man!"


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