Dating Magazine

Ames- Ashley’s Forever “Bachelor That Got Away”

By Datecoachtoni @CoachToni

She was smitten with Bentley. She listened to William about Ben C. and didn’t give him a rose. She keeps focusing on her “type” which is a “big guy with long hair.” She emphasizes the hair a lot. I’m seeing a dangerous pattern…

After many interviews in which Ashley talked about how intelligent, funny and unique Ames is, she eliminated him last night because she wasn’t sure she felt “chemistry.” Ashley, if you are reading this or anyone you know is reading this- chemistry is all about physical attraction, intellectual stimulation and friendship. You specifically talked about two of these a number of times (“he’s so smart, I feel so completely comfortable with him, we are so much alike”) - AND you described your first kiss in the elevator as “amazing.” Girl, you had CHEMISTRY with Ames. No, he doesn’t have long hair, an edgy personality, a caustic or abrasive nature- and isn’t the biggest guy in the bunch- but you did like the way he looks and kisses- which is all about chemistry.

Ames may well be the one that Ashley will talk about years from now- the great guy who got away. In this case, however, it will be the great guy she just couldn’t see. Timing is a big part of finding the right relationship. Timing is not just about being in the right place at the right time. It is about being READY to see what is in front of us and being ready for the kind of relationship that has staying power. Hunky shoulders, strong arms, gorgeous eyes, long hair- these all have a fairly short shelf life- but all the things Ames brings to the table are the things that last. Humor, sincerity, warmth, thoughtfulness, a steady and calm presence, high intelligence, and a great career….need I go on??? He’s also got a dazzling smile- and is a cute, hunky guy. Yes, even my older eyes can see this and I remember my younger self and know she would love him.

The dating coach in me is feeling very frustrated and it’s getting clearer with each episode why most of these relationships fail miserably. Casting calls for the Bachelor and Bachelorette should include an assessment for relationship readiness and a maturity screen. But, maybe the producers are lacking in this area as well and look mostly for hunky guys and hot girls with an attitude and then add a few real candidates to play the straight parts.

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