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Bad news for waistlines in Portland, it’s Amazon Prime Now.Amazon Prime Now is in Portland!
What’s Amazon Prime Now, you ask?
Only the best and worst idea ever.
It’s grocery delivery and snack delivery from their stores to your doors.
And it’s free.
If you want it in an hour, you have to pay $7.99, but hey, if you’re in that big of a hurry, go to the store your own self, okay?
Participating Stores
- New Seasons
- Uwajimaya
- World Foods
- Cupcake Jones
- Amazon
How it Works
First, become a member of Amazon prime.
Second, download the app. It’s oddly only available for smart phones (perhaps the thinking goes that if you’re too lazy to go to the store you’re also too lazy to open your computer?).
Type in your ZIP code. Mine is in their delivery zone.
Then, add the foods you want from the stores you want. I feel like one of the few things that keeps me the size I am is not having cupcakes readily available. This could go badly.
Or, actually, did you see that last store on the list?
Oh yeah, that’s Amazon. You know, the store that has all the things?
10 Random Things You Could Order from Prime Now
1. Roomba ($594)
I need a Roomba and I need it now!
I love this. Amazon appeals to the lazy person on so many levels (full disclosure: I am a convert of the church of Roomba, and I still think it’s lazy to push a button and have dog-hair-free floors). Want a robot vacuum? Want to stay on the couch while it comes to you? You got it, kid.
2. 30# Bag of Dog Food ($44.89)
I get this one. Really get it. I mean, it’s a 30-pound bag of dog food. That’s the size that you think you can carry, but if you walk six blocks to the store you only carry that back once.
3. Dasani 24-pack ($4.73)
do. not. buy. this!
Hold the phone. Are people seriously still buying bottled water? In Portland?!? That’s absurd. Portland has delicious drinking water, and, thanks to our oddly-specific politics, there’s never been any flouridation in our water. Plus, you should have a HydroFlask to make drinking water more fun. You do not need this!
4. Garbage bags ($15.29)
5. Diapers ($51.41)
6. Mini Bluetooth Speaker ($179)
“Honey, did you get the new sound system for our dinner party in two hours?” “Uh… yes, dear. Yes I did. And it’s going to be here just in time!”
7. Gummy bears ($.98)
Few things here: 1. You cannot buy one pack of gummy bears on regular Amazon, you can only buy 12. 2. I should not buy 12 packs of gummy bears. 3. In fact, I should not buy one pack of gummy bears. 4. Gummmmmmmmmmy bears.
8. Xbox One Halo ($349.99)
Only possible explanation? “Hey, look, Mom left her phone unlocked. Let’s buy something AWESOME.”
9. Hand soap ($1.47)
I have been out of hand soap (or was that dish soap?) so many times that this one actually makes a lot of sense. Hand soap is important, but one of those things you constantly forget when you’re buying broccoli and cheese.
10. Greek Yogurt ($1.35)
So, you’re making the healthy choice, are you? Ordering Greek yogurt is going to get you halfway there, but it won’t get you all the way. What I’m saying is, get off your tuchus and go on a nice brisk walk to the store!
What About Pricing?
I was interested in the price of Prime Now. Roomba is the same price, dog food is cheaper on Amazon.com, water bottles (do not buy!) are cheaper on Prime Now, garbage bags are cheaper on Amazon.com, diapers are cheaper on Amazon.com, speakers are the same price, gummy bears are cheaper on Prime Now, Xbox is cheaper on Prime Now, soap is cheaper on Prime Now, and yogurt is cheaper on Prime Now.
All that’s to say, check your prices, and if it’s worth a couple extra bucks to have something RIGHT NOW, then, by all means, go for it.
Plus, they’re running a deal now (only good on Amazon orders):