Humor Magazine

All The Late Night Talk Show Hosts Are Leaving Earth

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

The faces of late night TV are changing, and they all seem to be changing at the same time.

Let’s investigate that.

First to go was Jay Leno of The Tonight Show. He didn’t go quietly though, he went kicking and screaming.

And kicking some more.

And then one final scream.

jay

Craig Ferguson of The Late Late Show was next.*

craig

Carson Daly of Last Call followed suit.

carson

Chelsea Handler of Chelsea Lately called it quits to show her boobs on Instagram instead.

chelsea

David Letterman of Late Show With David Letterman just recently hung up his top ten list.

david

Jon Stewart of The Daily Show will be no longer be with us daily.

jon

Don’t get us wrong, it’s not uncommon to change things up in the TV world, but these changes all seem to be right on top of each other. These very same people have been hosting our beloved talk shows for collectively 236 years**.

In case you were wondering…that’s a really, really long time.

It’s almost as if they are family members…that is, if your family members lived in a black box that sat on a TV stand for their entire lives (like Grandpa), and who only appeared when it was convent for them (like Dad).

Now….

We are not normally conspiracy theorists here at L.A.P., but we do have one idea…

And it makes perfect sense…

Too much sense actually….

Aliens!

Some late night entertainment starved planet is offering our TV hosts a really good deal to come talk show on their planet! (Yes, we just used talk show as a verb!)

alien

I’m sure this mysterious talk show host stealing planet only has like a few famous people on it, so why would they need SO many of OUR interviewers?

Seriously!

Also, what enticed our Talk Show Hosts to go to a strange new planet in the first place?

Is it the fact that they might offer more money? Healthier tasting food? Insurance? Dental? Robot maids?

What could possibly entice our beloved Talk Show Hosts to leave Earth in a mass exit?

The Aliens are not talking, so I guess we will never know.

But it does beg the question…

Who’s next?

colbert

*The timeline is not accurate

**This fact is completely made up.


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