Throughout my few years with The Phoenix, who spent a couple of decades living in Yorkshire, I'm often found doubled over at the bawdy, pant-wetting slang he enjoys crafting into his vocabulary especially for me.
One of my favourites has to be my post title, which describes a woman who looks elegant but is a bit of a "sleaze".
My favorite kinda gal.
When I relate to him tales of my London years, he usually manages to somehow work in "those shandy-drinkin' southern wankers" into an otherwise polite response.
Don't bother getting your "baps" in a twist my southern beauties, gettin' "mardy" is about as "useful as a chocolate teapot".
Ooh he can be a "reight coin" that one.
We're all here for one reason and that's to have a perve at some nice clobber innit?
The feather stole is the final treasure in the parcel of joy from Terri of Rags Against the Machine.
A rich purple colour, I'm simply stunned at that glorious woman's eye at frocking up a wannabe circus bint.
Forest City Fashionista introduced me to the Ontario-based crafty beaders, Create Beautiful Beads, who custom-made me this pair of humungous Johnny Cash earrings.
Ooh he's smokin' baby!
Let's see if this puts some lead in your pencil.
Headband - made by me
Pearl collar - flea market
1930s silk nightie - Etsy
Shoes - thrifted
"Fookin' 'ell I've got a reight lob-on luv".
Speaking of lob-on's, I got a large one when a parcel from the super-gorgeous Helga von Trollop arrived today.
Among the pant-worthy goodies were this necklace and earrings.
Oh but you were looking at the tart in the vintage frilly knickers and pink nightie though weren't you?
Yep, those were the first items I tried on.
More deliciousness in another post.
Thank you darling Terri and Helga!
Classy.
Top-shelf.
All the way baby!
Arse-squeezes all round darlinks.
Desiree xo