Fashion Magazine

Adult Friendships

By Tanvi Rastogi @tanviidotcom
Clifton Inn 11
I have been thinking about friendships lately: what they used to mean to me, and what they mean now. Who I used to consider a good friend, and who actually ended up being a good friend.In my childhood friendships I always felt like a misfit, like I was not in on the joke, an age-old adage: ‘alone in a crowd’. It is in my new adult friendships that I have found what it truly means to be a friend. In my middle age I am learning how to be a good friend. I also finally realized what it was that was missing in all my previous friendships: a meaningful connection!I have never been the one for small talk or mindless gossip (though I am thoroughly entertained by it as a listener). I value deep conversations and a riot laughter.  Anyone who can participate with me in these two settings is my true friend.Friendship to me isn’t about keeping up with each other’s daily life’s saga, or about hanging out just because you shared few years in school together, or about “collecting people” for the sake of having a social life. Friendship is about being supportive even when you don’t agree with each other. It is about that intangible connection you feel which compels you to stay in each other’s life. It is about allowing each other to make mistakes and grow. It is about being honest and knowing you always have the best interest at heart. It is about being able to be your 100% true self and having that big-belly-laughs. In my friendships one of the qualities that value the most is when I find people who can keep their promises, and are a person-of-their-word. They show up when they say they will, they remember important details about you and your life, they checkup on you whenever they are able to and are consistent in their love and affection. I might not have much, but I feel so lucky to have a handful of such fabulous friends.Especially in the past 18 months, when I have cleansed my life of everybody and everything that wasn’t adding joy and positivity to my life, I feel blessed to have found these few rays of light who shine on the most cloudy days.Leaving you with another quote by your's truly:Most underrated human activity: a heart-to-heart conversation. While I don’t have much to show for my time spent on this earth so far, but boy! have I had some great conversations. Tanvi 

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